.
VERB: deprived, marginalized
“At least it wasn’t a real baby.”
“You caused this.”
“Try again.”
Stop the Disenfranchisement
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Support for birth. Support for bereavement. Support for you.
“At least it wasn’t a real baby.”
“You caused this.”
“Try again.”
(click to find out how)
The SBD® Doula provides support to families experiencing birth in any trimester and in any outcome.
Here at stillbirthday.info, you can learn about the SBD® Doula.
My beautiful twin grandsons were stillborn on January 3, 2013. As I was trying to explain to my husband (my daughter’s step-father) why, 2 months later I was still crying for them and my daughter and her husband, he replied:
“Well, I don’t understand why you are still so torn up about it. It’s not like they were real babies; they were dead. I could understand if they had been born alive and you had started to love them a little. But you didn’t even know them, so it’s strange to me why you would be crying over them. I just feel sorry for your daughter and her husband.”
Never in my life has anyone said anything so cruel and ignorant to me. It was like a jolt hit me and I realized that if my OWN HUSBAND could do that to me, he wasn’t worth keeping. We are divorcing. Not just because of that comment, but because it was the FINAL straw of years of his stupidity and verbal abuse. His own daughter was also pregnant at the time and delivered a healthy baby boy in March. But he STILL doesn’t “get it”. He has no soul.
This comment was shared with a request of anonymity by a stillbirthday mother:
My beautiful twin grandsons were stillborn on January 3, 2013. As I was trying to explain to my husband (my daughter’s step-father) why, 2 months later I was still crying for them and my daughter and her husband, he replied:
“Well, I don’t understand why you are still so torn up about it. It’s not like they were real babies; they were dead. I could understand if they had been born alive and you had started to love them a little. But you didn’t even know them, so it’s strange to me why you would be crying over them. I just feel sorry for your daughter and her husband.”
Never in my life has anyone said anything so cruel and ignorant to me. It was like a jolt hit me and I realized that if my OWN HUSBAND could do that to me, he wasn’t worth keeping. We are divorcing. Not just because of that comment, but because it was the FINAL straw of years of his stupidity and verbal abuse. His own daughter was also pregnant at the time and delivered a healthy baby boy in March. But he STILL doesn’t “get it”. He has no soul.