Told by: Courtney

I woke up Thursday morning on August 7. It was just like every other morning. I got up and was making my other 3 children breakfast when I felt something strange. I ran to the bathroom to find blood in my underwear. I immediately began crying because I just knew I was loosing my baby. I called my husband home from work and called my midwife who sent me for an ultrasound. A few hour later we went for an ultrasound that they had to do vaginally.

It seemed like it took hours.

The tech told us to go to our doctors office and they would give us the results there. We finally arrived at the birthing center where we met with our midwife. She told is the ultrasound revealed that the baby had no cardiac activity meaning no heartbeat and that it only measured 8 weeks. I was 10 weeks and 3 days that day. I bursted into tear yet again and cried through the midwife a instructions.

I opted for a natural miscarriage at home. By the time we made it home my head was pounding from crying all day. I took Tylenol and went to sleep. I woke up the next day hoping it was a dream but upon using the bathroom and seeing the bleeding increased I knew it wasn’t. All day August 8th I bled and cramped on and off and all day the 9th also.

Finally at 11:20pm on August 9th I felt something so I ran to the bathroom sat on the toilet got some tissue and caught my baby born in it’s sac. I called my husband and we cried together for a moment before he asked me if I wanted him to open the sac. I shook my head yes. Inside was my beautiful baby.

Already so developed. Although so heartbroken I was proud of my angel baby. We went and bout him (we think it’s was a boy) a little wooden box that we made comfortable on the inside for him. I cried myself to sleep that night. The next morning August 10th a few close family members met us at my mothers home on her acre of property to lay our baby to rest. I am still grieving and it hurts so bad still but I know he is in a better place. We love you little baby J.  In mommys heart forever.