Heidi Faith // Page 49 // The SBD® Doula

My Fourth Son Born Sleeping

March 14, 2014 by Heidi Faith Leave a Comment

Told by: Angela

I have had 5 pregnancies and only have three living children. My first pregnancy I was 16 years old and had a miscarriage at 13 weeks. My second I had a beautiful baby boy at 17 years old, full term and healthy. My third I had another beautiful boy at 21 years old it was a great pregnancy but resulted in emergency C-section, so my next was a scheduled section and it went really well, healthy baby boy at 23 years old.

So when I got pregnant again June of 2013 is when we found out, I wasn’t expecting anything to go wrong. I was hoping for a girl this time around, plus my pregnancy was completely different from the boys, I was sick all the time and couldn’t eat or sleep. I got the flu in December and went to the ER they said all was well with me and the baby.

We didn’t have insurance throughout the pregnancy so I didn’t see a doctor the entire time. I started having what I thought was Braxton hicks in February, they were very strong but weren’t lasting very long or close together so I didn’t think I needed to go in yet. I lost some of my mucus plug but my water hadn’t broken yet. March 12th, my husband was working graveyards, I realized I hadn’t felt my baby move since the day before, it was like all the sudden it dawned on me, I felt like an idiot. I tried everything to get the baby to move, laying on my left side eating sweets even drank a soda, nothing worked. I

felt so defeated and devastated. I knew my baby was gone, I lay in bed all night holding my bulging baby belly and crying. My husband got home the next morning and we got a babysitter for the older boys and went in to the L&D. They tried finding baby’s heart and could not find it so they did an ultrasound, they thought they found a very weak heartbeat and there was no amniotic fluid, the doc kept asking me if my water had broke and i finally yelled at him no! so he rushed me into surgery, when they put me to sleep i was praying to God, please let my baby be ok. I woke up to the pediatric nurse and my doc hovering over me telling me my baby boy didn’t make it.

I was so lost and confused, I couldn’t believe what they were saying. Finally they took me to my husband, he was alone and crying and scared. They finally explained to me(they had already talked to him) that the baby had a hole in his heart, severe swelling of the brain and most likely was Down Syndrome(which would have been just fine with me) plus the cord was wrapped around his neck loosely … I was in shock, they said that he wouldn’t have made it on the life flight to the nearest big city that could actually do the surgeries he needed, plus his chances of making it through those were very low.

They brought him into the room and I just held him sobbing, my husband wouldn’t touch him he was really afraid. We only took three pictures of him, I regret not taking more, I also regret not having my older children come and meet their baby brother. We had him cremated and now his body is at home with us and around my neck, I wish everyday that he was in my arms instead. Sometimes I can feel his presence with me. I blame myself everyday for not knowing something was wrong sooner. Thank you all for listening, I hope my story can help someone else. Sterling Holden March 13th, 2014 5lbs 12oz 18inches We will love you Forever and Always

Filed Under: Home /Out-of-Hospital/ Loss, Teens

Zayra’s the Eldest

March 14, 2014 by Heidi Faith Leave a Comment

Told by: Sabrina

My daughter was born sleeping at 32 weeks on October 6, 2012,we named her Zayra Rayne she weighed 4lbs 4 oz and was 18 1/2 inches long. I posted my story about my daughter under the 32 weeks page. Sadly this was not the end of our disastrous 2 years. 6 months after we lost out daughter, we decided to try again.

The doctor gave us the go ahead but warned this pregnancy would have more tests so we could try to prevent another sleeping baby. I got pregnant that month, we were so happy this was going to be our rainbow baby. I had blood work down 4 times a week to check my HCG levels to ensure they were rising like they should.

At 8 weeks I began to bleed, we called the doctor and we were told to come right now. We had an ultrasound done and to our horror our child had passed away at 6 weeks. I decided that I would let my body do the natural thing and have my child at home. I was in pain,it felt as though I was having contractions that night at 9 p.m.

I gave birth to our daughter whom we named Deona Marie.

The next day the doctors confirmed my baby was no longer there. My doctor would later inform me that he knew I would miscarry because my HCG levels stopped rising at 6 weeks. 2 months later I became pregnant once again, it was our little surprise but we were ecstatic and scared. I had blood work done 3 times a week my HCG was rising great. I had every symptom in the book. I went to the doctors for my 8 week check up, I had to go alone because my husband had to work. During the ultrasound I saw my babies little legs and arms sadly I also saw that my baby did not have a heartbeat.

He had passed away the day before. We named him Ace Hope. The doctor told us we should do an emergency D&C because he wanted to know why this happened. I reluctantly agreed.

The tests showed nothing, we still do not know why this has happened 3 times in a row. I am unable to comprehend why this is occurring to us. All I wanted was a baby to hold and love to be ours; and it can not happen. I have no hope left.