Common Questions

Here are some of the most common questions asked about stillbirthday.

How did stillbirthday get started?

Heidi Faith’s fourth child was born in the first trimester, on April 19, 2011.  The angel cake with zero candle is a photo taken from his funeral.  You can read pieces of my story in the stories collection of the website.

What is the password for the stories?

Please view our copyright policy and our password information page.

Can I borrow a photo or a story for a presentation I’m doing?

No.  Absolutely not.  And to do so may be in violation of the mother’s legal copyright.  Only individuals who are SBD Official Affiliates can speak in any capacity as representing stillbirthday, because they are in agreement to our strict principles of service.   You may contact Heidi Faith or another SBD approved speaker to present at your event.   Please see our Rights of the Bereaved and our Official Affiliate agreement for more information.

I’m looking for something in particular and am not sure how to find it.  Can you help?

The purple menu bar across the top of the screen holds our resources, information and support, in as close to chronological order as we can make it, starting on the left side of the screen.  You’ll also see the subtabs, which are helpful in locating the resources you are looking for.

How do I interview an SBD doula?

Your SBD doula has a URL webpage designated with biographical and contact information.  All officially certified SBD doulas have agreed to our Principles of Service, and have been issued a certificate which includes a unique identifier that can confirm their active status as a credentialed doula through our program.  You can begin by confirming their credentialing with stillbirthday here, as well as viewing your area listed doulas.  When you first contact your SBD doula, you might either confirm a semi-private public location to meet, such as a library, or if birth is imminent, your doula may decide to meet you for the first time at the birthing location.  Each doula uses discretion according to their assessment of the situation.  If there is time before the birth and you have had a general introductory meeting, another meeting may follow, this time in which more specific birth preparation and comfort techniques for labor may be established.  To interview your doula, you might consider the kind of support you’re interested in having.

• Do you want someone who can work well alongside of (and not replace) your spouse?
• Do you want someone who has been well trained in medical options and alternatives?
• Do you want someone who can communicate respectfully and engage insightfully with all members of your team?
• Do you want someone who has committed to a rigorous certification training and who has available to them updated information and resources?
• Do you want someone who can come alongside, moment-by-moment, with guidance, affirmation, wisdom and love and support you through any turn in your birthing journey?

I have an idea, a resource, my story, a photo, or something I’d like to send to you.  How can I do that?

You can use our sharing page, which will direct you to a contact form right on the site, and will also direct you to our sharing email address: sharing@stillbirthday.info.

I see that my comment wasn’t published.  Why not?

There are 3 parts to this answer.

Heidi Faith is the only individual with access to the administration panel of the website.  I filter comments, questions, feedbacks, applications, story submissions, and more, all the while teaching the SBD training and serving my own community through mentorship, doula work and speaking engagements.  While we have an awesome team of individuals who work within their communities and online, I am the only one with direct administration access.  So the first part of the answer to this question, is that I simply may need a bit more time.  If you feel it is urgent, you can follow up with a message through our sharing email.

The second part of the answer, is that I simply cannot respond to each question, particularly when the answer is already published at the site.  Sometimes we feel anxious and having a conversation with someone can be helpful, which is why we have the communications link at the main page.  But if the answer can already be found, I often have to weigh repeating the answer against best serving the long list of feedbacks and communications with the time and resources I have.

Finally, the third part to this question is that stillbirthday has a very strict moderation policy, that encompasses the highest amount of dignity and respect possible.  It may be that you have a great idea, but it is mixed in with a comment or a word that I personally feel could be harmful or hurtful to others.  If you are familiar with our facebook page, you’ll soon know that because we have a heart to reach every group in the bereaved community, not every idea or subject or discussion is going to serve everyone best.  It is our position – it is my personal stance – that it is unacceptable and I’ll even go so far as to say impossible, to create the safe, healing place you deserve, by trying to discredit the safe, healing place needed by someone else.  If something doesn’t work for you, please lovingly pass it by, and wait for the one that does serve you.  And, like anything else, if you feel that something just is totally out of line, you can always contact me directly through the sharing email.

I think someone I know is lying about their loss.  Can you please verify that this person is telling me the truth?

I receive this question a lot.  For individuals seeking paternity support, family support or any other issue related to this sort of situation, it sadly is a common one.  Because stillbirthday serves bereaved families first, before we serve anyone else, our priority is always to the bereaved individual, even if their bereavement is in question.  My only response to this discrepancy is to consider that even if they are being dishonest, there may likely a very real psychological issue, a very real void that needs filled.   What I mean is, in the person’s situation, maybe a baby really didn’t die, but maybe the person feels as though something in their life has died, and this has been the clearest way of them articulating their hurting heart.  Conversely, the only time stillbirthday does actively engage in situations like this, is if a photo is stolen from our site and used without permission.  Everything at stillbirthday is copyright protected, and belongs to stillbirthday and the families who hold our stories and photos here.  While the law doesn’t protect us as best as I feel it could, we may use the extent of the law to protect ourselves.

Other questions