If your doctor told you that your baby’s heart has stopped beating, you may be experiencing a missed miscarriage or an incomplete miscarriage.
You may have just found out that your baby’s heart actually stopped beating several days ago (or a couple of weeks ago) and you are just now beginning to see the earliest signs of delivery (see symptoms of a miscarriage for a complete listing, but includes seeing blood and/or pieces of tissue passing from your vagina).
A missed miscarriage occurs when your baby has already died, but the actual birthing process either has not yet begun or isn’t fully complete.
If your baby is younger than about 12 weeks gestation, you may be given three options for delivery:
If your baby is older than about 12 weeks gestation (about the beginning of the second trimester), you may be given these options for delivery:
- artificial induction (medication)
- D&C
- D&E
- if you’ve been given a different option, please click on “Birth Methods” and find the option that has been recommended for you
You are invited to share your story here as well: please remember that sharing your story at stillbirthday is a way to express your feelings and share your experiences with other mothers – it is not to diagnose, treat or answer any medical questions.
You might visit our farewell celebrations for ideas to celebrate your baby.
Missed miscarriage is the worst feeling in the world. I felt like I had been lied to, tricked, deceived. Like I was a pawn in the most cruel of games. For 3-4 weeks I walked around thinking I was pregnant, carrying my soon-to-be bouncing baby bundle of joy, when all that time, my baby lay still and cold. 12 weeks and 2 days is when I delivered my baby. 3-4 weeks after he had already died. I felt safe at 12 weeks, like I’d reached the magic check point and everything would be alright. But it wasn’t, it hadn’t been for a long time. I wish no one had to know the stinging pain of a missed miscarriage. =(
Samantha, I couldn’t find better words to describe the feeling… It’s exactly how you say: cruel, deceiving. Me too, I walked around thinking I was pregnant, when my baby had died instead. Me too, I reached the goal of the 12 weeks, just to find out that his heart wasn’t beating any longer. You think it’s not happening to you, you don’t understand what they say, you think it’s impossibile that your happiness has flight away in that horrible way…
I made it to 13 weeks and 2 days and I thought I was in the clear. Back when I was only 8 weeks a long I felt panicked after reading stories about miscarriages to come find out I had every reason to panic. I carried my Little Bug in me for 5 weeks. It’s not fair, all that time I was planning and getting excited about this child only to find out it was all a lie. It hurts so much. =(
After a long 4 or so journey with infertility we were elated to be pregnant for the first time through in vitro. We went for our 8 week ultrasound and heard a strong heartbeat and saw out little peanut. Just yesterday we went for our 12 week ultrasound only to be told that our little peanut’s heart was no longer beating. Devastating. I sit here knowing our little one is with Jesus but our hearts ache to meet him or her in eternity one day. Because I didn’t have any symptoms of miscarriage a D&C is to be scheduled as soon as possible.
I delivered my son at 19wks and 5 days in July of 2012. I got pregnant again in Dec and went to the ultrasound and they said the baby stopped growing at 6wks and there was no heartbeat. It took three weeks before I started to pass the baby and I know this sounds nuts but I want to bury the baby so every clot that came out I saved in a baggie because I wasn’t sure if I would know what was the baby and what wasn’t. Eventually the clots got to the size of a golfball and I was taken to the ER for an emergency d&c. The baby had only partially passed. I never got to bury the baby and I have actually never told anyone that that’s what my intentions were. This really has all been a very bad dream.
This literally just happened to me. Went in for what we thought was an 8 week u/s, but baby only measured 6 wks and there was no heartbeat. We thought maybe I wasn’t as far along as we thought so we gave it 2 wks. Today we got another u/s, same thing as 2 wks ago. Our baby died and for 4 weeks I’ve been carrying a lie. I’m so heartbroken, I don’t even know how to handle it. I still haven’t passed baby, I’d like it to happen naturally even though my doctor offered me meds or a d&c.
Dear ones…I had 3 darling daughters after 2 years of infertility. After the 3rd daughter, we had 2 more years of infertility. It seemed like a lifetime. We finally got pregnant and had the doctor draw an HCG level to confirm the pregnancy. I’ll never forget the day he called to tell us that the HCG level was incompatible with life. That my baby died at 6 weeks gestation. I remember my 3 little girls wrapped around me, grieving with me. We had follow up HCG levels just to MAKE sure that our baby was truly dead, as I was on progesterone to keep my levels up, an ddidn’t want to miss a dose in case the baby WAs alive. The follow up HCG was even lower. I was starting to spot and realized that I was beginning the process of miscarrying this little one we had so longed for. I felt SO guilty because I had missesd a progesteron pill when I was 10 days pregnant but didn’t know it becuase I was at the emergency room overnight with my sickly uncle. I was SO hurt and angry at him and the circumstances that led to me losing this precious life. A pregnancy loss support group was already in place before I miscarried, so, I contacted the leader of it, and SHE said..Candis, take note..that whatever I passed(it was a bunch of large clots with a piece I thought could be the baby), I was to bring it in and they would put the remains in the morgue. The group would hold a group burial that our Catholic hospital had for preborn and neonatal death of babies.It was a beautiful service, and it was in a real cemetary with a real headstone for unborn babies. That validated my feeling of loss and mourning, even though I never really had anything to HOLD to show I was a mom who lost her baby. We named him/her Jessie, it means a gift of God. Our church surrounded us with prayers and support. We got pregnant with our rainbow baby 4 months later, and prayers continued…They were needed, because at 39 weeks, I felt the Lord urging me to get induced early. As labor progressed, his heartrate would drop into the 80s, then 70s..right before delivery it was in the 30s. he came out blue with an Apgar of 5, but quickly recovered. The cause was there was a tru knot in his cord that had been tightening, and had we waited until his due date, we would have lost him. The doctor was amazed of the “something” that told us to have him early.
So, I am writing all this because i wanted to validate your feelings AND to show there is hope and restoration. Jessie will always be a part of our family, and I always feel like there is someone missing at the dinner table, outings, car rides. Be true to yourself and your feelings and don’t apologize for any of them. They are real and necessary to deal with the intense grief of losing a little one that you never got to know and truly meet.
God bless you and keep you in His care.
At 11 weeks, 4 days I had my first prenatal appointment with my doctor… as far as I knew, everything was going well. At 11 weeks I got even sicker than I had been, I was unable to keep anything down for 3 days so far.
At the end of the appointment it was time to listen to the heartbeat… I have my own doppler at home so I had heard it multiple times before… it had been a week since I had last listened as I would feel more nauseous whenever something were to touch my uterus. My doctor searched for 10 minutes and found nothing! I wasn’t too concerned as I figured I would be able to find him myself later in the day… I tried 2 different times when we got home and found nothing. I knew he was gone.
I called my doctor and she just told me that she wasn’t worried since I had heard it the week before and too just calm down and wait… wait 6 whole days for my NT scan.
I was having pains in my left side, likely kidney stones apparently… we went to the ER that night to see what was going on with me and to see about an ultrasound since my doctor wouldn’t even try to get me in for one.
It was October 1st when we found out that our baby had died… he had stopped growing around 10 weeks, 3 days even though I heard him the day after that.
I have never felt such pain in my life… my 4th little one, the one that was suppose to complete our family… he was gone.
I had a D&C on October 3rd.
With a program that a funeral home here has, we are able to have our baby cremated for free!
We will be having him cremated with a little security blanket and he will be inside of a little heart shaped urn.
He was too small to confirm his sex but I am more than positive that he was a boy.
We have named him Angel Walter Camden (Walter after DH’s grandpa that passed in 2006, he was the most important person in his life so it seemed fitting).
I am doing better emotionally, I think knowing that he’ll be “coming home” helps… I wish this were a possibility for everyone.
I just had a D&C today for our little one. I had a normal ultrasound at 10 weeks. Baby was measuring small but healthy and good heartbeat. Yesterday we went for the nuchal translucency test at 13wks and up on the big screen I immediately knew our baby was gone. Growth had stopped right after my ultrasound at 10 weeks. It was a horrifying nightmare. I have been a complete wreck since finding out. I thought it would be even harder after the D&C but I am surprisingly feeling better than before. It is still hard and I have cried many times but feeling much better than before. We have a healthy 20mo daughter that makes the pain more bearable. My heart goes out to those who have lost before having a full term healthy pregnancy and pray that it will happen soon for you. Hope my story helps, I know loss is not often discussed openly among women but the more I talk about it with friends and family the more I hear about it and how they got through it. Blessings to all. <3
I had a miscarriage in early March and got pregnant immediately after with no cycle in between on accident but it was a happy surprise! I immediately got hcg and progesterone levels and they were all normal and well! I went in for my ultrasound which we figured was around 8 wks but the baby only measures at 6wks 4 days and there was no heartbeat. I knew right away there was no heartbeat from the screen. I was to return in a week for another ultrasound to see if the heart started to beat but in a weeks time I went back- still no heartbeat . I was devastated! I was hoping for my rainbow baby. I wanted to miscarry naturally so I went home and waited and it took 2 weeks and a few days for the baby to pass. It was so much more painful than I thought and I saw my baby in the amnion I think they said it was, it looked like a little placenta to me and I could see the little baby inside. I wish I could have kept it in some memorial burial type thing but the doctor and I wanted to have everything checked under a microscope to understand why I keep miscarrying. I wanted my baby, I am still so heartbroken that I wasn’t able to keep the pregnancy! the miscarriage just happened 3 days ago. I did try and cherish the moments I was pregnant and I know I didn’t do anything to make this happen. I trust God will bless me again and I’ll get my rainbow baby.