This is basic information to help you have some understanding of what to expect from medical and legal representatives from the duration of your delivery to the burial of your baby.
If you have just had a homebirth and delivered a stillborn unexpectedly, please click the link to be taken to a different article. That same article will also provide you with information if you are considering planning a homebirth in a known stillbirth situation.
If you are anticipating delivering a stillborn, you may have a few delivery options:
- natural (unmedicated vaginal delivery)
- artificial induction (medication)
- Cesarean
- twins information
Delivering a stillborn in the hospital:
When you are admitted to the hospital, the nurse may start your labor off in triage or in a labor room, depending on your hospital. Some basic admitting paperwork may need to be filled out, and your birth plan should be presented.
After the birth, if the hospital has a bereavement team, they will visit you. They may offer you some counseling resources or bereavement information. A chaplain may visit you, if you wish. As part of the bereavement support services, your hospital may have a police officer visit you and just check up on your personal safety at home. That might seem offensive, but if they do, just consider it a blessing that your care is being considered.
Every hospital has different policies, but all will try to work with your requests and offer you as compassionate care as they possibly can.
Depending on factors involved in your unique situation, you may be discharged from the hospital later that day, or the following day.
In most cases, your baby will not be able to leave with you when you are discharged, but will remain at the hospital until a representative from your selected funeral home comes to the hospital to transport your baby back to the funeral home.
If you have older children, and you are planning on having them stay with relatives during this time, this packing list may help you sort through the things they will need.
The delivery option links at the top of this article will help you navigate many more personal and special choices to help make this difficult time more meaningful and more validating to you.
Lost Beautiful daughter MELISSA HOPE GRANDA-RAMOS ON 06-28-13 at 37 weeks of pregnancy.
Everything was fine as of two weeks ago. I was 5 months (21 weeks) pregnant and the day we were supposed to find out what we were having, we found out our son had passed.. Possible chromosomal issue is what they are trying to determine. Our baby looked just like daddy and our 7 year old son. It doesn’t feel like it, but maybe this is for the better… maybe something worse would have happened to baby and we were spared of that. I know babies are miracles but I feel that more now than ever. My heart goes out to all who have lost their babies. ** 7/20/13 **
I am 61 years old and have only just found my baby two weeks ago. 41 years ago I gave birth to a baby at full term in a large hospital in South Australia. It was my first baby and all was fine till I started to panic when I went 2 weeks over due and the baby went still. My Doctor told me not to worry and that all would be ok. I went into labor at home. But on arrival at the hospital the nurses could not hear a heart beat. I was then told my baby was dead ,and that I would be going through a normal delivery. With my husband by my side I gave birth. Then as quick as I gave birth the baby was taken away and all was quiet. My husband got to see the baby but never spoke about it ,only saying the child looked perfect. I was sent home the next day, breasts bound and pills to take to stop the milk. From that day till a few weeks ago I did not know anything more. While going through papers I found a small slip of paper for a bill of $19 being for the funeral of a baby. I Googled the name on the bill and asked a few questions. From there I have since found out that I had a baby boy and where he was buried. Now I plan to visit the site but have been told that there is nothing to show where he is and that other babies were all put together as well as other people in those days. These days things are different and a mother can see , hold and bury her child. How I wish I had had that chance. Anyway I at least know where he is. I have never forgotten him. I hope with my visit I will be able to put a bad experiance behide. My baby was never seen, never held, but never fogotten.
My heart goes out to you!!! No matter how many years have passed your baby has always had a place close to your heart. I cannot imagine the pain you must have felt no having the chance to hold or even see you baby. My mother was 6 months pregnant when she fell down the steps. The hospital induced her and didn’t even tell her if her baby was alive or not. After giving birth she jumped up because they were taking the baby away, but she slipped on her own blood and passed out. She never found out if it was a boy or girl and still does not have any closure (30 years later). Stories such as hers and yours break my heart. I hope you feel a little better knowing where your baby was buried. I am still very sorry for your loss and hope all is well with you.
Thankyou for your well wishes. Yes closure is a very important thing. This is why I feel I must travel to South Australia to visit the site where my baby was buried. I have been told nothing is there to see, just wild grass, and that I cannot leave anything at that site. But I still have a strong need to say goodbye after all these years. So soon I hope to go there just for the day. Think I may even go on his birthday. I have not told my family what I have found out , but in the next few weeks I will have a family get together, and then I will tell my other children and grandchildren about how I found my little boy. I do wish he had a name but not sure if it be the right thing to name him now. So sorry for your Mum and for all the other mums who cannot find their babies. When I visit mine I will also be visiting others at the same site who may not have been found. Little angels all of them.