This is My Farewell

Told by: Lynne

My first child was a twin. I didn’t find that our for many years–31 to be exact. I bled the first few months I knew I was pregnant. I didn’t think much about as my mother bled through both pregnancies with her sons born 8 and 11 years before I was born. I had a troubled delivery. I nearly bled to death until some bright nurse decided pitocin was necessary in i.v. form. Problem was, my veins were collapsing and until the very last minute, I believe, an open vein was found. I was given 2 units of blood. I bled those out. While trying to cope with my first child still under Billi lights in the hospital nursery, I attempted to recover from an anal rip that took 2 hours and 45 minutes to repair. Finally, baby came home. I still continued to be in pain–location: lower abdomen. After having my pregnancy m.d. remove a fecal impaction, I still remained in pain and bleeding heavily. At no time did anyone , nurse or doctor feel my lower abdomen. On my way back into the m.d.’s office, I stopped for a blood test to check anemia. I had an overwhelming urge to vomit and go potty at the same time, so I used the bathroom in the lab. Now I know what I saw was my other child’s placenta (I know this was not born child’s placenta, as I viewed it up close and personally at my son’s birth. It was a picture-perfect placenta.). At the time, I wanted to grab what I saw and take it up to the m.d.’s office, but the lab tech told me I could not extract it from the facility. Last year, a very dear person was talking of her daughter’s birth. By that time, ultrasound readily was used. She described the same scenario as I had above, but her m.d. had modern technology on his side and found the unoccupied placenta. She immediately had a D&C to remove placenta.

This is my farewell to my son or daughter thirty-two years later; actually 32 years, 7 months and 18 days later. I really had odd feeling of missing a babe when my next preemie son was born, 2 days less that 2 years later. I believe I was mourning the passing of the missing twin from prior pregnancy. 15 months later, I gave birth to a healthy, 40 week pregnancy, baby boy. No matter whether this happens to you and you know immediately or like me, 31 years later, its still the same; nothing changes.  You miss your unborn child and don’t let go ’til you say ”good-bye”.