Support for birth. Support for bereavement. Support for you.
Told by: Emma
This is my daughter Roisin Faith. She was one of twins born at 26+6 after an extremely difficult pregnancy. Her brother Cillian Joseph was born sleeping after his placenta, which had been failing for quite a while, abrupted in theatre after a massive bleed. They were born on 5th April 2012 and Roisin spent 12 week in the Neo Natal Unit and is now 15 months and doing amazingly well.
Told by: Monica
When we meet new people and I eventually tell them the story they seem kind of awestruck. They say ,”Wow, I can’t believe it!” and then they tell me , ” you must be a strong person to have gone through that and come out looking as happy as you are.” ….. I say to them, ” I am not strong on the inside. but, from the outside I have to be.”
In a way Shelby was a rainbow before the storm or during it. She is what brought back the light in my darkest time. This is how she got her name.
We chose not to name our children after anyone we knew personally. For several reasons. The biggest reason being so that our children would have a unique name for their individuality. My maternal grandmother was born in France. Charlize Theron is an actress with a kind of French name. I decided to change the spelling a little bit. I also wanted it to sound softer. So, I decided to change it to Charleece. Her middle name is a spin off of Raelynne. My friends daughter’s middle name. I always wanted a little girl named Shelby after the character from Steel Magnolias played by my favorite actress none other than Julia Roberts! Shelby’s middle name was going to be Nichole. But, my husband didn’t like Nichole and so we didn’t have a middle name for her for a little while. When Charleece died we had not known exactly what one would have what name at first. So since Shelby didn’t have a middle name we chose Charleece to be her middle name. That way then Charleece would be our other twins name and she could be honored always. It turned out to be the best thing too! It was my husband’s idea to have Shelby’s middle name be Charleece. It was like it was meant to be that way. So, that we would always have her name mean something to all of us. I knew right away when he suggested that idea that that was the reason Shelby didn’t have a middle name until that point. It wouldn’t be as meaningful if she had another middle name.
In memory of Charleece Taelynne our sweet daughter and sister whom we will never forget, and,
to Shelby Charleece our light in the dark. May you continue to grow and be a constant source of joy and love in our lives!
Love mommy and daddy!
Told by: Susan
This is my 3 year old daughter Sarah, holding her baby brother Tobias. These are my rainbow babies!
Sarah lost her twin at 17 weeks gestation. I delivered both Sarah and her twin at 41 weeks. I had been told that I most likely would not be able to see her twin. But at delivery, there they both were. In fact, they had to still cut the twins cord!! I was able to see my twins together. It provided some healing and closure for me.
Tobias was conceived 4 months after we lost his sister, Naomi Grace at 39 weeks due to a true knot in her cord. Tobias was born healthy, and breathing at 40 weeks 1 day with 2 true knots, almost on top of each other! It was surreal to know how close we came to burying another child.
Told by: Joni
We conceived triplets after just one round of fertility treatment.
We were completely shocked yet over the moon with excitement.
I only knew I was growing bigger than a barn, I am only 5’1″ tall, needless to say, I got rather big fast.
All we knew at the time was I had 3 babies and they were all in separate sacks; fraternal triplets. I went into labor at 20 weeks , two of the babies switched places causing their cords to entwine.
I gave birth to fraternal triplet girls on February 3, 1987. It was the most devastating thing we have ever endured in our lifetime.
We had a son in 1991 and another daughter in 1994, they are the best therapy we could have ever asked for, although we have had many challenges with our daughter who has many learning delays and moderate autism.
She graduated from high school last month with school honors.
Told by: Stephanie
I found out I was pregnant with twins at my six week ultrasound, and I was really thrilled! I just knew it was twins because I was looking like I was five months pregnant when I was only four weeks pregnant.
I was looking at the ultrasound screen and saw only one sac and one fetal pole. Then the ultrasound technician moved the trans-vaginal probe and there were two little sacs and two little fetal poles. The technician looked at me and said “How does twins sound”? I said to the technician “I knew it was twins, I look huge”.
Everything went great through the whole pregnancy.
At my thirty first week into my pregnancy all chaos broke loose. I went into pre-term labor and had to be admitted to labor and delivery. I was dilated to one centimeter and had to be put on a magnesium sulfate drip. When the nurse lowered my dosage I went back into full contractions and ended up dilating to two centimeters. I ended up having to be left on a high dosage of magnesium sulfate for 24 hours. After 24 hours of the magnesium sulfate drip I was taken off of it. Everything was going well in the hospital I was on a contraction monitor the whole stay and a non stress test every four hours. I had an ultrasound done at thirty two weeks into my pregnancy in the labor and delivery and both babies looked great, heartbeat was wonderful, they where weighing wonderfully. The scan showed that my daughter which was baby B had placental aging, the technician who did the scan thought she would be brought into the world early due to this. Unfortunately, no one did anything about this, nor did the doctors put my twins on a fetal heartbeat monitor except the every four hours, I was just left on the contraction monitor.
On April 16th 2009 at 32 weeks the nurses couldn’t find two heartbeats during the non stress test in the morning, and they failed to do an ultrasound at that time as they thought just one was hiding behind the other. Later, when the nurse change occurred it was time for another non stress test in which the nurses couldn’t find the second heartbeat of the other twin. So, they talked to the doctor and the doctor ordered an ultrasound right away.
The nurses came into the room there was about four nurses and a ultrasound technician who followed with the ultrasound machine. I was looking at the ultrasound screen looking at my twins when I noticed the nurse squeezing my hand, I looked at her and smiled, then I looked back at the ultrasound screen and realized that there was no color to the placenta. The nurse kept squeezing my hand the whole time she asked “Are you okay”? I replied “Is there a heartbeat”? She responded “No sweetheart, I am sorry”.
We all thought that I was going to be induced that night to keep anything from hurting my son baby A who had his cord wrapped around neck three times. Unfortunately, the perinatologist wouldn’t do this, and said that the longer the baby is in the better, and only 1% chance the same thing would happen to him.
On April 17th I had an ultrasound early in the morning to check on my son. I was so used to seeing both of them on the screen but the technician only showed my son. He was doing great and all the perinatologist said to me is “See he is okay”! I took a nap around one pm and I was woken up to “sweetheart I need you to roll over” by the nurse, and the nurse looking at the heartbeat screen. At this point I was on the monitor 24/7. My son’s heart decelerated. I said “go tell the doctor to take him out now!”
The doctor was called and told what happened. The nurse came back in and said “we will induce you.” I received an epidural and my water was broken. I waited on the contractions to start, but after two hours my contractions where not coming as fast as they wanted; at 2:00 am on April 18th 2009 they started me on pertocine to jump start labor faster. I was dilated to 7cm when my son started to crown so I started pushing at 4:50 AM and welcomed my son into the world at 5:00 Am. I stopped contracting after he was born so the doctor had to put her arm all the way up to elbow inside my uterus to get my daughter to turn somehow so the doctor could either grab my daughters feet to bring her out, or get it to where her head would go down. Finally, after 24 minutes of the doctors arm elbow deep I welcomed my daughter into the world . I was able to see my son for a minute before they took him back into the NICU.
I was able to hold my daughter whenever I wanted, give her a bath, put clothes on her. This by far was the worse thing ever in my life. I couldn’t see her eyes, hear her cries. I felt dead and empty. I was able to visit my son but not hold him since he was put on CPAP. He was able to go home after a week or two. But, I had to put my daughter in the ground .
Serenity was born at 5:24 am on April 18th 2009. 3 pounds and 12 oz and 17 inches long at 33 weeks.
Tristan was 5 pounds 8 oz and 18 inches long. There is never a second of the day that goes by that I never stop thinking of her and what she would have looked like today. How would her eyes look and her hair how long would it be. It never gets easier every year it gets worse around the time of the birth of her.
The SBD® Doula provides support to families experiencing birth in any trimester and in any outcome.
Here at stillbirthday.info, you can learn about the SBD® Doula.