You are here: Home / Archives for Outside Insight / P.R.

Pledge a Date Night

May 21, 2013 by 9 Comments

Stillbirthday is so entirely honored to be a part of supporting the upcoming feature film Return to Zero.

As the next step in the production process, Return to Zero is working toward estimating the actual interest in their upcoming film, by encouraging you to pledge that you will indeed go to your local theatres to view it.

This film is absolutely critical in lifting the disenfranchisement of parental bereavement.

For the health of your community, for the health of the stillbirthday community, and for the health of your marriage and of your own grief journey, I implore you to pledge to see the film in theatres!  Whether you have personally been impacted by pregnancy and infant loss or not, you owe it to yourself and to the community you are a part of to watch this film.  Become what we call a stillbirthday Ally, and pledge your theatre seats.

You can also join our online event discussion, where you can find out who your own local leader is, or become one!  Many amazing individuals are local leaders – names you may recognize!  When you take the pledge, it’ll ask you if you have a local leader.  Knowing who yours is, if you have one, is just a way to keep track of how connected we all are – so get connected and peek into that online event discussion.  We have local leaders named from several US states, including Kansas, Missouri, Pennsylvania, Texas, Colorado and more!

Just click the pledge photo below to take the pledge to see the movie in theatres – it’s really that simple.   You can add Heidi Faith as your local leader, wherever you are located, but if you are outside of the Kansas City area, I’d be even more honored if you’d visit our event page to see if there is a local leader closer to your physical community, and for you to consider becoming one!

**GIVEAWAY**

If you ARE in the Kansas City area (if you are in Kansas or Missouri) and you list Heidi Faith as your Local Leader in the pledge, leave a comment below, and you’ll be entered to win two free tickets to see the film once it’s in theatres.  Yep, Heidi Faith will pay for your two tickets.  How’s that for incentive?  A free date night, while raising awareness and bringing healing.

Filed Under: all, Giveaways & Updates, Outside Insight / P.R.

Reaching for Motherhood

April 23, 2013 by Leave a Comment

A woman.

She’s anticipated her entire life, motherhood.

She’s dreamed of it since a little girl.

Longed for it.

She’s waited for it it, charted it, temped it, felt it, timed it.

And now she’s standing in that aisle.

The one with the shelves and shelves of condoms, and in some places, other forms of emergency contraception.

She stands next to another woman.

The other woman is looking for ways to prevent motherhood.

And there they are, the two of them, shopping together.

There she is,

reaching for motherhood.

Particularly in the larger chain stores, so many items are available in multiple places:

  • kids hangers, are both in the kids section, and in the hangers section.
  • Vaseline is in the ethnic healthcare section as well as in the lotion aisle.
  • lunch boxes and travel coolers are in the school supply section as well as the camping section.

The contraception aisle might be a great place for some women to find pregnancy tests, but why not give more options to the placement of pregnancy tests?

Imagine, this woman, being able to finally enter into the baby section of the store, if she wanted to.

A section where people go for baby registries, after all.

A place that is affirming of what her dreams are.

I’m not suggesting moving all of the pregnancy tests to the baby section – but, why not give more options to where women can find them?

Imagine, what would it mean, for this woman, to simply know she has the choice to determine where she will go when

reaching for motherhood.

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Outside Insight / P.R.

I Want to Watch You

April 22, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Somewhere in my adult life, I learned that one of the most valuable, validating things I can say to someone I love, is simply,

I want to watch you.

Presence is an action, even when you are still.

Presence offers reinforcement, validation, and self-esteem.

As bereaved parents, we want to know that this journey that we’re stumbling on, that it even matters, or that it’s even noticeable, to anyone else.

That, from the outside in, this journey is real.

We want to be reminded that what we are working on, working through and working toward is valuable.

That’s it.  It’s really, that simple.

If you don’t believe me, try it in your own life.

Tell your son, that you just want to watch him play his video game.

Tell your teenage daughter that you want to watch her put her makeup on.

Tell your toddler that you want to watch him color.

Tell your man that you want to watch him mow the lawn.

Tell your wife you want to watch her cook.

When you slow down to enter into the person’s reality, you will see that presence is an action.  You will see that becoming engaged in what they are doing will inspire you to enter into their situation more authentically and more richly.

Not only will you be better able to identify any needs the person may have – the person will also be more receptive to you.

Try it.

I want to watch you.

It’s really where we need you to start.

Filed Under: Outside Insight / P.R.

Martin Richard

April 17, 2013 by Leave a Comment
Martin Richard, 8 years old, was celebrating with his family at the Boston Marathon, held on Patriots Day, which commemorates the first battles of the American Revolution, at Concord and Lexington in 1775.
The 26.2 mile race also honored  the victims of the Sandy Hook shooting with a special mile marker and with the correlation of 26 school victims and 26 miles.
To Martin’s parents, family, and community: the stillbirthday community grieves with you.  This beautiful boy died, on a battle ground, honoring his country.  The tears splash down as I heartaching choke the words “I’m just, so very sorry.”
Martin Richard, we remember you.
Filed Under: Outside Insight / P.R.

Shopping for Adoption

March 27, 2013 by Leave a Comment

When someone says, “well at least you can just adopt” they are, intentionally or not, sending the message that one can simply run to WalMart and pick out a baby.

It’s not that simple.

Adoption can be a difficult and emotional process, for all involved: for the pregnant mother, for the intending parents, and for the baby.

Each person deserves to be supported, and supported well.

Our SBD Doulas have knowledge and resources available to them in their training to help support families considering adoption, including in particular, the element of bereavement that might accompany the desire to adopt from the intending family, and the subsequent bereavement that the pregnant mother may feel after the adoption transition.

In recent news, a pregnant teen girl was kidnapped and forced to drive her car to the location of the intending parents.  The kidnapper has been arrested, and the reports indicate that the pregnant mother is safe, after intentionally crashing the car into a parked police car, which is how the kidnapper was caught and the situation came into the news.

Grief is real.

I speak only for myself when I say that, I know that there are those within my own “demographic” of Christian conservatives, who approach their position in what I can only say a sloppy way.  Adoption itself is no quick fix to anything.  It requires excellent support, for everyone involved.

Additionally, our country is currently seeing a lot of homosexual marriage controversy.  Homosexual couples looking into adoption face potential rejection from assisted reproductive clinics, and potential issues regarding Second Parent Adoption.

I’m not asking you what your views are on adoption in general, as an alternative to elective abortion, or homosexual partners adopting.

I’m simply sharing with you, that couples yearning to feel like parents just can’t go shopping for adoption like you might think.

Related:

Filed Under: all, Outside Insight / P.R.

Fertile Diversity

March 20, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Here is a place to share your ideas, thoughts, feelings and experiences regarding diversity in birth and bereavement.

You can share anything:

  • old wives tales
  • ancient practices
  • things you’ve heard of
  • cultural practices
  • religious beliefs

On any of these subjects:

  • fertility (things that are said to help or hinder)
  • pregnancy (things to do or things to avoid during)
  • birth (things to do or not do during childbirth)
  • early parenting, and this can include most anything.
  • bereavement, mourning
  • death and afterlife

Here are some examples regarding early parenting:

  • beliefs about breastmilk
  • family customs, the role of each member of the family
  • practices immediately postpartum
  • beliefs about various infant or maternal diagnoses or medical care

Here are some examples regarding bereavement:

  • beliefs about proper mourning
  • customs or expectations around bereavement

Share Your Thoughts

You are invited to share comments, links or other resources that can help create a positive dialogue and more open communication regarding better understanding diversity in all subjects surrounding birth and bereavement.  Sharing a comment does not make that opinion exclusive fact (there may be many beliefs in one culture, for example).  As with everything at stillbirthday, these comments are moderated and anything remotely derogatory toward any belief will not be published.

See What We Have

Check out the great resources we already have listed at our Long Term Healing resources; we want this list to keep growing – specifically as they apply to diverse beliefs, practices and traditions on these subjects.

Get Even More Involved

Share Your Story

Please, consider sharing your special story here at stillbirthday.  It will also be held in our section of diversity stories.

If you feel particularly well versed in any belief system, you might want to expand on your comment here,and contribute an article as a member of the SBD News Team!

Stillbirthday provides birth and bereavement support globally, and students in our training come from all over the world!  If you’d like to become a member of our internationally respected birth and bereavement doula training program, with an emphasis in diversity, check out our SIS discount and join our Stillbirthday Birth & Bereavement Diversity team!

 

Filed Under: all, Outside Insight / P.R., SBD News Team

Take Your Shoes Off

March 13, 2013 by 2 Comments

Welcome to stillbirthday.  Read below for our password, and for our copyright information.

Take Your Shoes Off

Stillbirthday is not just another website on the internet.

It is a place that holds life.  We at stillbirthday speak life.  We at stillbirthday honor life.  We at stillbirthday mourn life.

Parts of stillbirthday are password protected.  All of stillbirthday should be respected as if it were password protected.

Our stories are a first hand account of possibly our darkest of days, our most traumatic days, and we share our most intimate of thoughts and feelings as we reflect on the life, and death, of our children.

As you step into a story, it is like you are stepping into the room in which a mother first discovers her lifeless child.

Whatever her interpretation, whatever her beliefs, whatever her reaction, whatever her words,

you are walking on holy ground.

Take your shoes off.

Show respect.

Show reverence.

Show compassion.

Learning about the password is intented to slow you down.

It’s intended to get your spirit right.  Your mind right.  Get your soul right, before entering.

The Stillbirthday Password

The ONLY reason to see something contributed at stillbirthday is to be loved and to give love.  Anyone who uses any contributed materials or content published at stillbirthday, outside of these standards may be subject to its author/rightful owner pursuing legal action to the fullest extent of the law, including within the anti-circumvention law, misusing the electronic password barrier.  This might include republishing a story in part or in entirety with re-interpretation, republishing a photo that does not belong to you, publishing the password without this notice, or in any way using a bereaved authors own healing journey in a way intended to cause emotional harm to that author or any other bereaved person who potentially may interpret their own experiences in a similar way.  You can view our Sharing Rights and Responsibilities page for more information.

By entering in our password to access what a member of our stillbirthday family has contributed here, you are agreeing to these terms and agreeing to abide by these expectations.  It should be considered that by proceeding with using the password you are in agreement of the above.  Finally, the password is stillbirthday

 

Heidi Faith’s story

This place is where I come to mourn my fourth child, born via natural miscarriage on April 19, 2011.

I saw his lifeless body, bobbing on the ultrasound monitor.  I was terrified.  I searched, frantically.

I peered into the screen, praying, more deeply than I ever have in my life.

“Please God, speak life back into him.  Please, God.  I know You can do this…”

It was the most intense request, the biggest miracle, the deepest I have ever pressed into God.

When the ultrasound machine was shut off, and all I could see was blackness, I was encountering a spiritual experience that would change the course of the rest of my life.

Why wouldn’t God perform this miracle?

Why has my baby died?

I was having a holy encounter.  A supernatural experience.

I was deeply, profoundly vulnerable, as my entire being was overcome by the vastness and weight of what I was experiencing.

A doctor entered into the room, and attempted to break through this sacred space.

She tried to cut through with slicing words.

The very first thing I heard from another human being, in my most vulnerable, spiritual encounter, was

“Call it whatever you want: products of conception, the potential for life, but…” as she clasped her hands firmly on my trembling shoulders she continued, “we need to get that debris out of there.”

The Rights of the Bereaved

Every bereaved person has a right to an authentic mourning.

Every bereaved person has a right to interpret his or her experiences in his or her own way.

Every bereaved person has a right to their feelings shifting and their perception changing through the course of their healing journey.

Every bereaved person has a right to discover how to nurture and discipline their grief for their own greatest healing.

Every bereaved person has a right to bring a flicker of light, of hope, of healing, to another bereaved person as they may be in the darkest days of their life.

Every bereaved person even has a right to make mistakes, to stumble, to not have a smooth, linear grief, but to recognize their own accountability within their own experience with grace and the accountability of others within their own experience with mercy.

Every bereaved person has a right to explore healing options, resources and expressions, free from the condemnation of others.

I implore you, to read our stories, read our experiences, with an awe and an admiration for the courage, the raw heartbreak, the discoveries, the grief and the healing, these, our stillbirthday families, pilgrimage on and sojourn through.

I invite you, to consider sharing your story, your baby’s photo, and to participate in the many opportunities for journeying toward healing we have at stillbirthday.

Thank you, for visiting stillbirthday.  May you find a flicker of light if even in your darkest hour here.

Related: be a part of Debris Day!

Filed Under: 00 what is the password & how do I share my story?, all, Outside Insight / P.R., SBD News Team, what is the password & how do I share my story?

Heartbroken for Brooklyn

March 3, 2013 by 3 Comments

Dear Baby Glauber,

Your parents love you so much.  They spent their last days surrounded in faithful celebration of Purim.  It is with hearts full of God’s presence that they left you so suddenly.  You are a miracle they leave behind.  You are a miracle that they carried and through God’s amazing love, continue to carry.

We all around the world are praying for your safety, for your health, for your life, that one day you will meet with God’s presence and feel the same supernatural joy and goodness that they, your parents, felt for you and with you in their last days here on earth, and in that meeting, you will trust that you are a miracle, you will trust that you are loved, and you will trust that God can purpose the biggest tragedy of your entire life, the biggest displacement possible between you and your parents, into a supernatural transformation that brings you even closer to them, to their wisdom, to their discernment, to their love, than ever would have been possible without this enormous tragedy.

I am so sorry.  I am so, deeply, broken and sorry for the death of both of your parents, that you won’t ever see their delight in you, you won’t ever feel their physical touch of adoration and affection for you.  I beg the God of the universe to bless you in your breaking moments, that He supernaturally provide for you these gifts in incomprehensible measure.

You are valuable.  You are loved.  You are a miracle.

Filed Under: Outside Insight / P.R.

Born in Silence

February 1, 2013 by 1 Comment

A powerful video.

Filed Under: Outside Insight / P.R.

Thankful Tuesday

November 20, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I’ve seen this photo going through the internet:

I don’t know who to give authorship credit for it, but it isn’t me.

Nevertheless, it does draw an important point.

Thanksgiving is this week here in the US, and with this Friday being called “Black Friday” because of driving sales, and Monday being called “Cyber Monday” for online sales, many are reaching for Tuesday, November 27 to close the season’s opening shopping week by turning it into a Thankful Tuesday.

Thankful Tuesday

The purpose of Thankful Tuesday is to give – give your creativity to lend a charitable hand to an organization, such as sewing diapers for Teeny Tears, or lend financial contribution to organizations such as Mason’s Cause to help fill their financial reserve for families facing funeral costs.

Through this past year, some amazing organizations and people have generously contributed their talents and resources to help stillbirthday offer giveaways to you and to help you realize that you are not alone.  It is important to realize their positive effect, even if you were never the recipient of an item.  Their very presence validates that you are not alone, a truth that we all need.

Please, visit the list of sponsors and supporters of stillbirthday this week, take a look at what they have to offer.

Consider buying from them, and, consider giving them a little extra cash, simply in honor of your baby, your grief, your path to healing.  Validate that these organizations have supported you, and that, we are in this together.

And, if you’d like to make it to that list, why, simply read what it’s all about and connect with me.  I’d love to hear from you.  Together, we can find our way on this journey toward healing, and bring some encouragement to others as well.

Happy, Thankful, Tuesday.

 

Filed Under: all, Outside Insight / P.R.
« Previous Page
Next Page »

The SBD® Doula provides support to families experiencing birth in any trimester and in any outcome.

Here at stillbirthday.info, you can learn about the SBD® Doula.