Virtual Grief

The online sharing of experiences, thoughts and feelings is still a relatively new concept; Jorn Barger coined the term “weblog” in 1997, Bruce Ableson founded “Online Diary”, the first social networking site, in 1998, and it wasn’t until 1999 that blogs first became popular.  Facebook launched in 2004, Twitter in 2006, and Google+ in 2011.

“The entire range of feelings, from happiness to anger to love to grief, can find an outlet online. When it comes to personal loss, some people already use social media to announce the death of a loved one, and some websites specialize in helping friends help grieving families with their practical day to day needs (preparing meals, taking the kids to school, etc.). Therefore, it is only natural that we would use social media to help us grieve as well.” -Dr. Aboujaoude (source)

“People share everything online. Files, baby photos, videos of special occasions, random thoughts, bad days, new jobs and landmarks constantly traverse the Internet.

Naturally, the web has become a place where people express one of their deepest, most painful emotions: grief.

As in real life, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve online, experts say. That expression varies, from comments on digital obituaries to tribute videos on YouTube to memorial pages on Facebook.

Ken Mueller, a social media consultant from Lancaster, said posting on a deceased loved one’s Facebook wall or creating a tribute video is similar to the way people have grieved for hundreds of years.

‘Maybe it’s the psychological equivalent of going to someone’s tombstone or burial site and leaving flowers,’ he said.

For people who live too far away to attend funerals, social media can help bring closure.

Experts say social media can be a tool to help people work through stages of grief and find support that might have been lacking before they signed on.

‘When you share your grief, the more you share, the more you heal,’ said Rhada Hartmann, director for palliative care and bereavement services at York Hospital.'” (source)

In an interview to discuss the effects of social media and today’s internet on the grieving process, Elias Aboujaoude MD, who is considered an expert on the psychological effects of Internet usage, said the following:

“Vividly revisiting the moment, such as through [remembrance videos and websites], may help us better access the emotions we experienced and how far we have, or have not, come since then.”  He went on to discuss public sharing of thoughts and said, “any attempt at processing what we have been through would have to be good.”

Although much of this interview was centered on 9/11 in particular, Dr. Aboujaoude was asked if there was any downside to collectively commemorting tragic events, and gave the following response:

“People with post-traumatic stress disorder often avoid reminders of the trauma they survived, but I don’t think avoidance is the answer. I believe there is a way to commemorate what happened without getting stuck in the past. Closure is not about never looking back again. It’s about learning from what we went through in hopes of a better future.”

Dr. Aboujaoude concluded:

“The challenge is to avoid the tendency, online, to speed up and dumb down whatever we are engaged in. Grieving is complex and difficult, and it takes time, and if it feels simple, easy or more efficient online, then maybe we are diminishing the process somehow.”

From Beaumont Enterprise, in an article written about a grieving mother:

“It might take a village to raise a child, but it takes twice that to  bury one.

Despite the fact that everyone grieves in their own way, mental health professionals have long been aware of the importance human interaction plays for  those suffering a traumatic loss.

With new technology comes new ways to contribute to the healing  of others.

While learning about her daughter’s life, she learned a valuable lesson about  dealing with her death: As isolated as Ratcliff feels, she will never be alone  in her grief.

On her blog, which anyone can read, Ratcliff said she found a way to express  the feelings that had begun to overwhelm her every day.

‘I didn’t want to have to hear myself say the words,’ Ratcliff said. ‘But to type it out, to have that outlet, has been so healing.'”

Ratcliff, the bereaved mother, said this about grieving: “It’s not a process; it’s a new way of living. It’s almost like living a new  life.  This is what I will do the rest of my life.”

Chuck Oliff, a licensed professional therapist, who was interviewed for the same article, said this about social media’s effect on grief:

“It’s been very helpful for healing, a lot of reminiscing, a lot of talking, a  lot of reconnecting.  More than  anything else, I think it’s just about communicating thoughts  and feelings.”

The article continues:

“While everyone experiences grief in different ways, Oliff said, after a major  loss, many find comfort in having a constant outlet for their feelings. While  individual and group therapy can help, therapists, counselors and pastors aren’t  always available during a person’s loneliest and most trying hours.

That’s where social media fits in.  ‘It gives people a chance to reach out without feeling like they’re intruding,’  said Tom  Broussard, a funeral director at Broussard’s.”

There are, however, risks and downfalls with online grieving:

  • ‘No matter how much people grieve together on social media, the act of coming  together is of the utmost importance when it’s time to say goodbye.  One of the things God gave us is that the edge of that knife gets a  little duller as time goes by. And at the end of the day, the thing that’s most effective is that personal  touch, that personal hug,” (source) Unfortunately, even brief encounters online can be etched in time, cruelly blaming bereaved persons for moments of strong emotion and binding them in a sense of unforgiveness and bondage when they are already bereaved.
  • It’s  not for everyone.  What may work well for one parent may not work at all for the other.
  • You can become overly committed to the responses and updates of others you are communicating with online, and neglect your other needs or the needs of other loved ones.
  • Others online may not realize just how much you are hurting.
  • You can get bad advice, or even be manipulated through your grief.
  • Your words are etched in time and what you may be expressing while experiencing one aspect of grief can seem foreign to you while in another aspect of your grief, and you may wish that your sentiments or expressions were not only remembered, but not used to harm or haunt you.

In conclusion:

Social media and the internet serve as unique and particularly useful tools to help navigate grief.  It provides a way to express things that often seem unspeakable.  It keeps people remain in contact and stay updated, particularly those who cannot be present, such as attending a funeral.  It allows people the ability to share ideas and provide encouragement.  However, it can store feelings and situations long after you’ve worked through them, and can serve to be a sour reminder of times you’ve stumbled in your grief.  You might share expressions that you later regret.  You can receive bad advice or become frustrated by others sharing bad advice with you (or others).  You can be easily vulnerable or easily manipulated.  Trying to discern which is the most important issue, staying the path of working through your feelings, or giving someone else attention for their poor judgement and misinformation can become frustrating (the same, however, is true in our physical interactions or in the “real world”).

Stillbirthday offers advice for social media leaders in how to approach bereavement online, and we ask parents to use caution and discernment for these reasons, as we seek to promote harmonious and healing communication through our program and comments and stories are edited as best as possible for unproductive content.

Please visit our submission information on contributed content to see the ways in which stillbirthday facilitates healthy and positive outlets for communication, and protection from some of the negatives that can come with online grieving.

Grieving families, stillbirthday hopes you see the value of online grieving, but as this is a very new issue, I ask that you protect yourself with discretion in the things you say, and that you prepare to offer grace and forgiveness to those who do not communicate with you as they should, as many online users simply do not understand the struggles faced by our bereaved community.  Please also be prepared and willing to forgive yourselves as you stumble on this journey in healing.

Stillbirthday serves to provide support to families experiencing loss and navigating their grief.  In addition, we seek to provide information, education, and awareness to those not impacted by pregnancy or infant loss.  We too use social media, this website (obviously) and other online platforms to raise awareness and provide useful information.  Please visit our “Outside Insight” collection of articles to gain more understanding of issues regarding pregnancy and infant loss, in addition to the rest of our website.

 

Regarding Online Photography:

  • When sharing photos online, consider that you are doing so likely to raise awareness to the inherent worth of your baby.
  • Drawing from that perspective, it can be helpful to consider what most people are most attracted to visually, and to present your baby’s photo in a way that best aligns with that.
  • It can be helpful to consider that generally, most people are visually drawn to photography that has been captured with professional level skill.
  • When sharing your photo online, it can be helpful to know that there is a prevalence to misuse or even steal photos.  By first opening your photo in a “paint” or similar program, you can size it down until you can open a script window, and type your name into the photo.  This is a very simple way of marking your photo, or ask your photographer to include a marking.  Consider marking the photo in a prevalent, pervasive way.  Save your file as a new name, otherwise your edited version will replace the original!
  • Your professional photographer should be respectful of your ability of sharing your own story authentically and originally, and should not publish your photos before you do or without your express, written permission to do so.

stillbirthday awards

Stillbirthday.com is considered a blog, so please keep your eye out on blog awards or other avenues of spreading the word about the importance of comprehensive, compassionate support through the experience of pregnancy loss.

Stillbirthday is up for the following nominations at the following places:

Babble is offering a blog award.  Would you please click this link and vote?  You can vote once a day!

Bloganthropy offers a Blogger of the Year award, for “blogs that make a difference by promoting a good cause.”  Please click this link to vote for stillbirthday to earn this award!

Thank you so much for your support of stillbirthday!

Here are some of our awards:

Birthing Naturally Reader’s Choice Birth Ministry Award

Cultural Grief

Health care providers must be ever mindful of that well-known Biblical saying, “to everything there is a season, a time to be born and a time to die.” Grief and bereavement are normal emotions that are very personal and are accompanied by pain and hopelessness in patients across cultures. Because the ways in which people express their feelings of grief, sadness and loss are highly individual, care of the grieving patient in any health care setting must be considered and implemented in a way that is sensitive to the unique needs of each patient.

The dictionary definition of grief is “pain of the mind produced by loss or misfortune.” Whether experienced as a result of the death of a loved one, a divorce, the end of a relationship or some other traumatic life change, grief is an occurrence that transcends such categories as age and gender. It is a multifaceted, individualized and personalized trial.1

Bereavement is defined as the experience of being deprived of something meaningful and valued, such as the loss of a loved one by death. This emotion is often shared between family members and can be a group experience.

As the racial, ethnic and cultural diversity of the U.S. population continues to increase, there is an ever-growing need for the health care profession to become culturally competent in all aspects of care delivery–and this includes the care we provide to grieving patients and their families. A recently published article on cultural diversity and grief states that the need for culturally sensitive grief/bereavement educators and counselors is on the rise and that health care providers must continue to expand their knowledge of the many ways that people grieve.2

Cultural Expressions of Grief

In recent years, a growing body of knowledge about the relationship between culture, grief and bereavement has emerged from the literature. A 1996 study of individuals from specific cultures revealed that people’s intrapersonal experiences of grief are similar across cultural boundaries.3 However, other research has made it clear that cultural traditions, beliefs and values do make a difference in how people outwardly express their grief and how they try to cope with it. To provide culturally sensitive care, health care professionals must possess an understanding of cultural practices and how they impact the overall grief experience of the patient.

Bereavement takes place within the context of families and communities and is played out through social interaction. Specific bereavement practices vary depending on the cultural background of the patient. For example, failure to follow through with certain traditional practices or rituals after the death of a patient can have a devastating impact on the family of the deceased and can result in an experience of unresolved loss and lack of closure. If nurses are unaware of or insensitive to these cultural needs, the family may view the care provided in a negative way.

The American Nurses Association’s position statement on cultural diversity in nursing practice notes that “cultural diversity refers to the differences between people based on a shared ideology and valued set of beliefs, norms, customs and meanings evidenced in a way of life.”4 Studies have shown that when practitioners and patients come from two distinct cultures with different, perhaps even conflicting beliefs, there is strong potential for “misrepresentation and poor communication by all participants.”

The literature also indicates that “culture counts” in the care of individuals experiencing mental health problems.5 Recent research has shown that bereavement may trigger a unique and previously unrecognized psychological disorder that can disrupt people’s lives for at least two years after a significant loss. This disorder, known as complicated grief, is characterized by a persistent longing for a deceased person, and it can often occur without signs of depression. The symptoms of complicated grief, while appearing to be normal reactions to the loss of a loved one, are significantly associated with later impairments in global psychological functioning, such as problems with mood, sleep and self-esteem.

Black and Hispanic Perspectives on Grief

When discussing the cultural beliefs and practices of a specific ethnic minority population, it is always important to avoid blanket generalizations. Assuming that all individual members of a certain culture think, believe and behave exactly alike can result in stereotyping and an insensitive, “cookie cutter” approach to patient care. Nevertheless, a review of the literature does reveal some examples of culturally specific perspectives on grief and bereavement that nurses need to be aware of.

Studies have shown that in the African American community, religion and family play an integral role in the grief recovery process.6 Many African Americans strongly believe that life exists after death. When caring for a grieving African American patient, the nurse should be equipped with knowledge of that culture. For example, nurses need to understand that it is common for these patients to rely on their inner resources, such as spirituality and belief in God, as well as lessons learned from past experiences, and use them as coping mechanisms to help them deal with grief and bereavement or any other life-changing crisis. As the case study on PAGE TK illustrates, some African American patients who are experiencing grief may initially appear stoic and unaffected by their loss but will eventually begin to express their feelings if they have the opportunity to interact with someone who shares or is sensitive to their culture. When there is a cultural bond between practitioner and patient, trust comes with that bond. In addition, some African Americans, particularly among the older generation, may distrust the majority culture and its health care system. For all these reasons, grieving African American patients may find it easier to communicate with African American health care providers during this difficult time in their life.

Hispanics in the United States represent a wide variety of cultures. They may originate from many different culturally diverse countries, such as Mexico, Cuba, the Dominican Republic, Nicaragua, Colombia, El Salvador, Guatemala, Chile, Brazil, Argentina and Peru, as well as the U.S. Commonwealth of Puerto Rico. Their cultural differences are distinguishable and the people are proud of their unique heritages. Because there is essentially no single “Hispanic culture,” cultural practices related to grief and bereavement can vary.

When working with bereaved Hispanic patients and their families, nurses must understand the concept of respeto (rules guiding social relationships–literally, “respect”). In many Hispanic cultures, the entire family is involved in making important life decisions, and there is a strict family hierarchy that must be honored. Traditionally, status is usually ordered from the older to the younger family members, and from males to females.7

Studies have also shown that many Hispanics expect their health care providers to be warm and caring and to interact with them in such a manner. They are more likely to put their trust in their individual practitioner rather than the hospital or other health care facility. In many cases, the family of a deceased Hispanic patient may depend on the primary care provider to be present, provide information, offer condolences and find out what will be helpful to them.

In some Hispanic cultures, crying is viewed as a healthy emotional response to a loss. Crying openly is seen as helpful. Family and friends will often encourage patients to outwardly express their grief.7 The nurse’s plan of care should include giving the patient extra attention and spending some one-on-one time with him or her.

Many Hispanics embrace religion and spirituality, as well as a belief in the spiritual and psychological continuity between the living and the dead. As part of that spirituality, the family may continue a relationship with the deceased person after death through prayer and visits to the gravesite.7

Strategies in the Clinical Care of Cultural Grief

As part of the process of delivering culturally sensitive health care, nurses must become adept at assessing cultural expressions of grief and using this knowledge to develop culturally appropriate care plans for bereaved patients of color. In doing so, however, we must keep in mind that attempting to eliminate a patient’s emotional pain can actually impede the grieving process. Pain is a normal and inevitable part of grief.

Early assessment and intervention is key. Grief and bereavement education and counseling are an important part of assisting patients in achieving grief resolution. The nurse should assure the patient that his or her reactions to this experience are not unusual. They should also educate patients about normal grief versus complicated grief.

In some hospitals, the nursing staff have created “memorial books” in which they record their memories of deceased patients and comment on past relationships with them. This allows grieving patients to see nurses as caring human beings and to realize that they are not alone–their care provider has “been there” too. In the case study example, Dana could have used her memorial book to share some of her own experiences of grief and loss with Mrs. Gray, and this grieving patient could have witnessed caring and compassion in action.

Attentive listening, compassionate eye contact and stillness can also help convey acceptance of someone’s grief. Through active listening, a nurse can encourage the bereaved patient to identify and express his or her emotions. Avoid telling the patient that you know how they feel and what they are going through. Instead, use open-ended statements such as, “I see that you are in distress right now; can you tell me what you are feeling?” Focusing the discussion on the patient, rather than the nurse, will help the patient feel less pressured or threatened.

Emerging research suggests that the dead may be important role models for the grieving and may still play the role of significant others to the bereaved. People continue to relate to their dead as active and living memories at times of personal crisis and success.8 Other recent studies suggest that the general experience of grief can enhance personal empathy and social compassion. For nurses, these previously unexplored perspectives present new and intriguing challenges for future research and practice.

Case Study: Providing Culturally and Linguistically Competent Care to the Hospitalized Grieving Patient

The following fictionalized case study example illustrates why it is so important for nurses to be knowledgeable about cultural practices relating to grief and bereavement, and to be familiar with grief symptomatology, in order to provide culturally sensitive care.

Dana is a 23-year-old Caucasian RN who has three years of nursing experience. She works, along with three other nurses, on a 40-bed medical/surgical unit in a hospital located in a large metropolitan area. As she begins her shift this evening, the unit is almost filled to capacity. There are two empty beds and Dana receives the last two admissions.

The first patient, Mrs. Gray, is a 42-year-old African American woman who is being admitted for post-emergency exploratory laparotomy for severe gastrointestinal and localized right upper quadrant pain. The patient was reported to have recently experienced the loss of her husband of 20 years in a motor vehicle accident in which she was the driver.

After receiving report, Dana goes in to admit Mrs. Gray and finds her with a flat affect. The patient does not respond to any of her questions. Dana is pressed for time and is not making any progress in communicating with the patient. She does not understand why this patient is not being a little more cooperative. After all, how can she be taken care of if she will not answer questions or talk to her nurse?  Dana has not considered the patient’s culture and how culture relates to grief, as well as the symptoms of grief and the patient’s traumatic recent loss.

The second patient, Mrs. Lopez, a 22-year-old Latina, arrived on the floor ten minutes after Mrs. Gray’s arrival. Mrs. Lopez is being admitted for an abdominal abscess after a primary cesarean delivery five days ago. Her condition was compounded by neonatal loss three hours after delivery. Wound cultures indicated methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus as the cause of the abscess. The patient’s psychosocial history reveals that she recently separated from her husband after finding him with another woman.

Mrs. Lopez speaks very little English and understands a minimal amount. Her mother and sister, who are also non-English-speaking, accompanied her to the floor. On this particular evening, the hospital’s Spanish-language interpreter had to leave early because of a family emergency and the next interpreter will not be on duty for another four hours.

When Dana enters the room to assess the patient, Mrs. Lopez is silently weeping with the covers pulled up to her neck and her face turned toward the wall. Again pushed for time, Dana greets the patient and proceeds to ask questions about her admission. The patient looks to her mother and sister. She continues to cry openly. Her family members try to console Mrs. Lopez and answer the nurse’s questions, but it is clear that they do not understand what Dana is saying. She tries using hand gestures but that does not seem to help either.

Dana quickly realizes that she is in over her head. She has now admitted two ethnic minority patients who have grief-related psychosocial problems as well as physiological problems, and so far she has failed to communicate with either of them. She is aware of the stages of grief and bereavement but not as they relate to different cultures. She thinks back to her time in nursing school and realizes that while cultural diversity was touched on briefly in some classes, it did not prepare her for situations like this. What’s more, the topic of grief and bereavement care of the hospitalized patient was discussed in class even less.

Her desire is to be a great nurse but she now realizes that she has a knowledge deficit. She has taken care of patients from different cultures before, but this is the first time she has encountered these types of cultural barriers to communication.

However, Dana is determined to learn from this experience and provide care to these two patients tonight. She also makes a mental note to talk with her unit manager tomorrow about implementing some cultural competency training courses for the nursing staff, along with classes on communicating with limited-English-speaking patients and understanding the special needs of patients who are experiencing grief and bereavement.

Dana asks her co-worker Betty, who is an older, more experienced African American nurse, if she will try to assess Mrs. Gray and see if she can obtain any response from her. Betty has two things in common with the patient that Dana does not: She has first-hand knowledge of the patient’s culture and she also experienced the traumatic loss of her own husband to a massive heart attack ten years ago.

Betty enters Mrs. Gray’s room and also notes a flat affect. Initially, Mrs. Gray does not respond to her, either. The African American nurse sits by the bedside and continues talking to Mrs. Gray–not about her admission but about her recent loss and what it means to lose a loved one. She talks about spirituality and where God is in the overall scheme of life. She also discusses loneliness and tells Mrs. Gray that when she lost her own husband, she knew deep down that she was never alone because God was always there. She explains to the patient that she knew Mrs. Gray believes in God because of information about her spirituality from her past admissions to the hospital.

Eventually, Mrs. Gray begins to respond to Betty. The patient cries and expresses anger about her husband leaving her as well as about her present hospital admission. She says she feels that she has no control and that all choices have been taken away from her. Betty allows her to vent her frustrations and fears, then begins to institute the bereavement protocol, which consists of supportive interventions designed to help grieving patients and families begin to cope with their feelings of pain and loss.

The African American nurse recognized that the patient, because of the sudden loss of her husband, was more likely experiencing denial and anger in the stages of grief and loss. This understanding enabled her to provide the cultural sensitivity that this patient urgently needed.

Next, even though she is now behind on her shift, Dana decides to spend some one-on-one time with Mrs. Lopez and her family. She summons up what she remembers from her two years of high school Spanish classes and she also uses the Medical Spanish dictionary that is kept at the nurses’ station. She is able to establish some very basic communication with the patient and family, but quickly realizes that she will need more than this in order to provide quality nursing care to Mrs. Lopez. Dana decides to take advantage of the hospital’s Language Line service, and she is able to communicate with the Lopez family through telephone interpretation until the hospital’s night-shift interpreter arrives.

References

1. Egan, K.A. and Arnold, R.L. (2003). “Grief and Bereavement Care.” American Journal of Nursing, Vol.103, No. 9, pp. 42-52.

2. Sunoo, B.P. (2002). “Cultural Diversity and Grief.” The Forum newsletter, Association for Death Education and Counseling, March/April issue, pp. 1-4.

3. Cowles, K.V. (1996). “Cultural Perspectives of Grief: An Expanded Concept Analysis.” Journal of Advanced Nursing, Vol. 23, No. 2, pp. 287-294.

4. American Nurses Association (1991). “Position Statement: Cultural Diversity in Nursing Practice.”

5. Broome, B.A. (2004). “Culture Counts.” Journal of Cultural Diversity, Fall issue, pp. 1-2.

6. Van, P. and Meleis, A. (2003). “Coping With Grief After Involuntary Pregnancy Loss: Perspectives of African American Women.” Journal of Obstetric, Gynecological & Neonatal Nursing, Vol. 32, No. 1, pp. 28–39.

7. Thompson, Y. (1998). “Customs and Values that may Affect Latino Grief” (adapted from a presentation given at the National Fetal and Infant Mortality Review Program, Third National Conference). Bulletin, American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

8. Kellehear, A. (2002). “Grief and Loss: Past, Present and Future.” Medical Journal of Australia, Vol. 177, No. 4, pp. 176-177.

Marilyn Hardy Bougere, MSN, RN, CNS, is a nursing instructor at Jacksonville State University in Jacksonville, Alabama.

This article in its entirety was derived from minoritynurse.

Letter to the Duggars

Dear Michelle,

I am so very sorry for the death of sweet Jubilee Shalom.

There is nothing easy about pregnancy loss, and having it occur in the view of the whole world certainly doesn’t make it any easier.

And, there are aspects of our shared Christian faith, you and I, that make the experience more bearable, but there are certainly aspects of the grief journey that are excruciating because of our faith.

When I experienced my own loss, I blogged about it in real time.  It received thousands of views, and drew the comments of well-meaning, but often not well-versed, replies.  I was told things like:

“Now you can focus on your other children better.”

“You shouldn’t have had your children so close together.”

“Having that many children is the sort of mother who would drive her children off of a bridge.”

“Your body wasn’t ready for this baby; it was your fault and you should have waited.”

“Now you don’t have to worry about having a special needs kid.”

“At least you have your other children.”

“At least you have your husband, so be glad that it wasn’t him that died.”

The truth is, none of these things are true.  Losing a baby is hard, and shouldn’t be compared to anything else, by anyone else.  And a war was waged within me, between satan and God.  I was extremely angry, and deeply ashamed that I felt I could not carry my broken heart more gracefully.

I wanted my baby.

And, I know you wanted, and still want, Jubilee Shalom.

Please know, that my heart breaks for you at this time.

In the first few weeks after my loss, I experienced a tremendous amount of various emotions, from deep sadness to extreme anger.  I cried out loud, a lot.  I had some very important conversations with God, and it was an experience that at first attacked my faith, but ultimately served to strengthen it in ways I would have been too weak and too fearful to have obtained on my own.

Please know, that every mother who has come before you here at stillbirthday knows what loss is like.

We know that it doesn’t matter how many children you have; losing one is devastating.

We know that losing our infants brings out parts of ourselves that need a great deal of love, nurturing and care.

We know that there are additional aspects to losing a baby at 19 weeks gestation, including not obtaining a certified birth certificate for sweet Jubilee Shalom, among other things that many other people, not ever impacted by pregnancy loss, do not consider.

I pray that you are shielded from any negative aspects of your public position, and that God will use the very real life, and the very real death, of Jubilee Shalom to strengthen your conviction that your ministry, your public display of family love, is extremely important and valuable.

We, the pregnancy loss community, come from various backgrounds and belief systems.  Not all of the mothers who have been here are Christian and so they do not all align with your family values.

But know this: we ALL welcome you into the community that truly no one ever wants to be a part of.

May God fill your heart with peace as you prepare for Jubilee’s memorial service today, and in the many days to come.  This is only the beginning of your healing journey.

For our readers who would like to keep updated on the Duggar family, please visit the Duggar Family Blog and their original blog here.

This video is Michelle’s letter to her daughter, Jubilee Shalom:

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/33754101 w=400&h=225]

Listen In

The creator of stillbirthday, Heidi Faith, was invited to speak on the radio show Progressive Parenting with show host Gena Kirby, about the need for adequate pregnancy loss support.

Please listen in.

Fast forward to 8 minutes, as that is when the show starts.

The Journey Through Pregnancy Loss

The SBD® Doula provides support to families experiencing birth in any trimester and in any outcome.

Here at stillbirthday.info, you can learn about the SBD® Doula.