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Protected: Baby under the Maple

July 15, 2015 by Leave a Comment

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Filed Under: Prior to the 1990's, Siblings

Protected: Renaming Baby

July 6, 2014 by Leave a Comment

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Filed Under: Prior to the 1990's, Siblings

Still Siblings

June 19, 2014 by Leave a Comment

siblings2

Filed Under: Siblings, Still Together

SBD Speaks

May 18, 2013 by Leave a Comment

These are little photos that we share at our stillbirthday Facebook page, as a way to invite others to finding us here, directly at stillbirthday.  If you like any of these, you can find them – and more – at our Facebook page for sharing.

 

Filed Under: Beyond Words (art/photos), Dads, Friends & Family, Siblings

Milkweed Babies

May 3, 2013 by Leave a Comment

This could be a precious craft to make with surviving and/or subsequent children, while talking about their beloved sibling.

Just click the photo for the web source and crafting instructions.

Filed Under: Siblings

Children, Teens and Loss

July 26, 2011 by 2 Comments

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Helpful Information for Adults

  • Do know that the things you say to children can become a basis of their performance anxiety and their measure of their interpretation of the worth of their own authentic bereavement response.  Do not place platitudes onto children.  Do expect bereavement, and this looks different for each age group.  Healthy bereavement can include otherwise unpleasant behavior, including tantrums.  This is important.
  • Do not tell children that they need to chin up and take care of their parents.  They will not.  They miss their parents as their parents mourn.
  • Do not tell children or parents that at least they have each other.
  • Children grieve the loss of the sibling they may or may not have known or felt connection with.  Children grieve the attention of their parents and grieve the family environment that may never be the same again.  This is not a time for children to rise to the occasion with bravery, but instead to learn more of who their sibling was and is in the family, and learn more of their own, the grieving child’s, inherent worth in the family.  Behavior changes may be one way of wrestling this out.

 

Resources for Adults Supporting Grieving Children

  • Tips for how to tell your other children
  • Know what your other children’s concept of death is, by age
  • Are you rearing children while also mourning children?  You can share about your journey in our Holding Umbrellas collection.
  • When Teachers Face Grief in the Classroom – Dr. Silverman (outside article)
  • The Impact of Miscarriage on Our Daughters is an outside article
  • Our international Long Term Support section has crisis hotlines, books and more (and our local long term support section has resources, including counseling, in your own community)
  • The dynamic of grief in the home between mom, dad and surviving siblings can be a difficult one.  While mom might be nurturing her children’s mourning – that is, their outward expressions of their internal grief – dad may be mourning differently, and if these differences are not validated and honored, it can begin to grow a quiet sense of mom and siblings versus dad.  For this reason, if possible, dads are encouraged to read a grieving book with their children or engage in their journey in some way.  One book I recommend for this is Michael Rosen’s Sad Book.  It is about a bereaved father who lost his teenage son, so a couple of pages might not be the perfect fit, but the images, language and tone can be very valuable in this relationship and journey.

 

Noteworthy Facebook Pages

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 One of the reasons I like the pinwheels so much, is that when you give a kiddo a pinwheel, they often like to try to blow it to move.
Most anything that encourages kiddos to blow – pinwheels, bubbles – helps deepen their breathing, and as such, can help regulate their heart rate, and help to offer a calm. Pinwheels also are fun, and even texturally and visually inviting, so they can be a pleasant offering
to mothers and siblings alike, both trying to find stability through devastation.
Pinwheels are joyful. And joyful, is good. ~Heidi Faith

Resources for Children

By Country

 

Resources for Grieving Teens

Resources for Adults Supporting Grieving Teens

 

 Children & Teens Can Encourage One Another

Stillbirthday holds the stories and experiences of children and teens.  If you have a special drawing or other artwork, or you have a poem or would like to journal your experience and feelings, we’d be honored to hold your feelings and validate you here.  Please speak with an adult about sharing your story, where it will be held at the “Siblings” section of stories.

 

 

Books for Children

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Filed Under: all, Siblings

Long Term Healing/Perspectives

July 26, 2011 by 3 Comments

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SBD: Supporting Bereavement Diversity

 

 

 

This enormous section of stillbirthday provides bereavement support specific to:

gender, age, religion/faith, culture,  family lifestyle &  other diverse groups.

To add a resource, simply leave a comment below.

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 Stillbirthday Fathers deserve support as the supporters.

Photo belongs to the amazing Canary Lane Photography Studio and
SBD doula student.

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~Fathers~

Fertility Challenges

Bereavement

Other Bereavement Support for DADs

 

 

 

Media which reference Men and Fathers Grief

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{click photo for video}

 

 

 

Couples

Mentorship Program for Fathers

Keepsakes for Fathers

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You have permission to use this photo.  Just visit stillbirthday on Facebook to find and share it.

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Healing Resources Specific to Children:

Children, Teens and Grief

kiddos5

{General} Healing Resources:

 

“Niche” Support

  • While many aspects of bereavement and healing are universal, we have support resources listed especially for the type of experience you’ve had.  Just use our “types of loss” section to gather those resources.  We here at stillbirthday say that grief is a language, that each of us speak a particular dialect of it.  In the language of bereavement, we can learn to celebrate our similarities while honoring our differences.

 

Groups, Counselors and Programs for Bereavement (by location)

 

“Timetables” for Grief

 

Grief and Social Networking

 

Identifying & Understanding aspects of Bereavement

 

Similar and/or Compounding Issues to Grief

 

Creativity through Bereavement

 

Finding Intentional Joy

It is important to know that you can laugh again, and that it’s not a dishonor to your lost child.  Plan intentional activities that you have always found to be enjoyable – watching your favorite movie, eating at your favorite restaurant, shopping at your favorite store.  Be safe, and let yourself hear your laughter or feel yourself really smile.

 

Holidays

 

Books, Crisis Hotlines and other Long Term Resources

 

Sexual and Intimate Relationship After Loss

 

Military Family Resources:

Military: blogs and other links:

 

Single Parenthood:

 

Special Needs / Differently Abled Parents:

In whatever way or ways an individual may be considered to have special needs, there are resources and support specific to those circumstances and what you may be facing.  It is virtually impossible to maintain a list of every diagnosis, definition or challenge that a person may be a survivor of and then place that list alongside birth and bereavement support, but what we have begun to do is collect the resources that do speak to the combination of both sexuality and disability, to provide avenues for you that ought to branch out into extensive resources.  Growing this list is important, and if you have an idea to add, please email Heidi.Faith@stillbirthday.info to send it in.

 

LGBTQ+:

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  • QTPOC (queer/transgender people of color)
  • Mommy, Mama and Me (a children’s storybook)
  • LGBTQ+ Storieslove
  • LGBTQ+ Fertility Resources & Support
  • LGBTQ+ Family Planning
  • LGBTQ+ Books
  • Loss after ART
  • Lesbian Miscarriage
  • Lesbian Miscarriage Support Group
  • Dr. Deb Rich, specializing in lesbian perinatal psychology
  • Keenan’s mothers share their beautiful, tragic story, with a powerful message:

    “We feel strongly that privatizing such events serves only to isolate people, we believe that it doesn’t allow other families openly grieve a stillborn, nor easily access support they may need or want in doing so. In acknowledging life we need to also acknowledge death, make it safe to grieve and encourage people to be present with their emotions/feelings/thoughts.”

    From their photographer, Jozi Grant:

    “Friends and family of Keenan’s mothers recently congregated at the Squamish Nation Shaker Church to celebrate Keenan with a ceremonial food offering to set his spirit free. It was held on a beautiful day with the North Shore mountains watching over us. The Squamish Minister offered an uplifting perspective on the passing of this precious boy. He explained that though Keenan’s parents may sometimes wonder if they are being punished in some way, they should know that they were, in fact, especially chosen to bring a lost soul back and facilitate his freedom. It resonated with me – such a beautiful way to look at such a painful loss.”

 

Cultural & Spiritual Resources:

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Jalisa and her daughter Jaisie at 36 weeks, just one week before baby Jaisie died.

For Cultural and Spiritual Farewell Custom Resources – please visit our Farewell Celebrations section

Fertility & Bereavement Support for Families of Color

 

Alternative Therapies:

“EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a simple tapping technique that allows you to relieve distress by gently tapping on certain acupressure points on your body while focusing on the particular issue.

With pregnancy loss, we may also be feeling trauma, anger, guilt, and fear in addition to normal grief.  EFT will not get rid of normal grief, but it can help release unnecessary distress, so that you aren’t so weighed down and are able to move through the stages of grief more easily. 

A few sessions with an experienced EFT practitioner can be helpful & give you the tools you need to help yourself when the waves of grief feel overwhelming.  EFT can also be helpful for your partner and any family members who need support with their feelings.” – Sondra Rose

Agnostic/Atheist Resources:

Shop:

We have a listing of special momentos, charms, books and other merchandise especially created in honor of various cultures, religions and beliefs, including alternative healing stones and more in our momentos section.

 

 

 

Share Your Story!

If you have utilized any of these diversity resources, perspectives and activities and would like to let other families know about them, please consider joining the SBD news team or sharing your story here at stillbirthday.

 

 

Healing Resources Specific to Mothers:

Menstruation after Pregnancy Loss

Trying to Conceive (TTC) after Loss

Returning to Other Responsibilities After Loss

Mentorship Program for Mothers

Filed Under: all, Dads, Diversity, LGBTQ+, Siblings

The SBD® Doula provides support to families experiencing birth in any trimester and in any outcome.

Here at stillbirthday.info, you can learn about the SBD® Doula.