The question is a common one.

“What do I do?” 

• Learn what the family has been told medically.
• Learn what birth methods are considered the most medically safe.
• Learn from the family what personalized options can best fit within the safest birth method.
• Learn about Principles of Service, which include the family’s right to privacy, your not issuing or publishing a diagnosis or death notification.

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Also, in learning, the opportunities for awareness and training here at stillbirthday are vast and growing, including:

• full birth doula and bereavement doula certification program
• Doula Handbook
• SBD University
• free birth education & planning resources
• free bereavement resources
• free support for the family’s loved ones
• international and local networks of resources
• helpful articles and other information, including The Invaluable Bereavement Doula

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But I’d like to just point out here, a few basic principles.  Because if you are supporting a family enduring loss, and doing so for the very first time, anything can seem overwhelming.  Let’s just try to make things as simple and uncomplicated as possible.  Here’s a few things I keep in mind as I support families:

1. }  Forget the Checklist

Yep, the very first thing to remember, is that it’s OK not to remember.  Coming in with the checklist of “OK, I took pictures.  I gave a teddy bear.  Check, check, check, and now it’s time for me to go.”  Even if you don’t ever intend to give off this perception, it is one that many mothers can be keenly sensitive to.  To help remember this:

2. }  Ask permission to open the window.

Whatever situation you enter as a doula, all you are given is a tiny window.  That’s it.  Just a tiny window.  There’s always more to the story.  There’s always an unspoken need.  Your job is not about being a success.  It’s about making a difference.  Even if you believe you are familiar with a tradition, belief or decision the family has made, ask more about it.  If the family says they are of a particular faith, for example, it doesn’t mean that they want platitudes that are assumed to align with that particular faith.

3. }  Validation is always possible.
Answers are optional.

You don’t have to give answers.  Not spiritual answers, not medical answers, not answers at all.  But you can always validate.  In fact, you should always validate.

4. }  Go Slow.  Validate.
Provide Options.  Supplement Resources.

These are the 4 foundational points to everything.  And to help you remember to keep these in mind, there’s 4 simple words to start this off.  “I want to know….”  Ask this question in word and action, allowing the family to be the authors of their journey.  Supplementing Resources is huge.  It means that you don’t have to know everything.  Helping to strengthen the circle around the family – by incorporating people who can be an asset to the family, is substantial.  Even with something as simple as “Tell me 3 people who love you” so that you can contact them on her behalf.  Loved ones can utilize the support resources we’ve compiled especially for them – including how to honor during the Healing Journey.  Utilizing stillbirthday as the resource for you is important, and offering it as a resource to the family is also important.

5. }  There are 5 Seasons.  And, there are 5 Senses.

Seasons:

• Pregnancy (and everything up until the birth – this can include everything that went into the pregnancy)
• Birth (yes, this is a season all by itself)
• The Welcoming
• The Farewell
• The Healing Journey

The points above, about going slow, speaks to this.  Don’t shove one season into another.  Birth, then Welcoming.  The Farewell will come.  The aspects specific to the Farewell will have time.  Preparing with training as a doula, preparing with resources as a parent, is important.  But emotionally, being present in the moment, in the season, is important.  Right now, let’s go slow.  One contraction, one breath, one moment at a time.

Senses:

As a birth doula supporting during loss, it is especially important to be mindful of the senses during the Welcoming, because often if you have not established a relationship with the mom prior to birth, this will be the pivotal time to do this.  With that said, it is substantially valuable to include the 5 senses during every season, as appropriate for the mom.  You’ll see that the earlier seasons impact the later ones.

“Check the Senses” 

Whenever you’re in a panic moment, of “Oh, no, I’m so scared, what do I DO right now?”  Go slow.  Take a look around, and check the senses.

• Sight – what does mom look like?  What does the birth space look like?  What can we do to create a peaceful, harmonizing, validating, special birth space?  How can you capture the moments of this time, so that as mom enters into the next season, she can see the moments of love offered to her?  How can you mirror back to the mother which season she is in?  How can you reflect honor to the Birth and to the Welcoming?  Can mom see you hold her baby?  Can mom see you cry?  How is dad being included?  Can surviving siblings be included?  Can parents spend time with their baby, really looking at her or him?  In what ways might this be challenged?  In what ways might you support this?  You can use our birth plans for ideas, for birth in any trimester.  What things will the family “see” as in, “perceive”?  Will they see a birth certificate?
• Sound – what sounds are going on around the mom?  Is she in a hospital?  Emergency room?  At home?  What can you learn about the monitoring or other hospital equipment or policies?  What music can you play?  What words of affirmation can be spoken?  Are there a lot of people in her birth space?  How are they mirroring back to her the validation she deserves?  How can you help ensure this happens?  What terminology is being used to describe what is happening?  How can using honoring words be validating?
• Touch – baby blankets, baby clothes, that are appropriate to the birth and welcoming experience, including size appropriate.  All items specific to bereavement or the Farewell should wait, including, what will mom hold onto while leaving the hospital?  Our postpartum resources give insight into this.  What about how time and temperature impacts touching the baby?  What are time barriers to spending time with, including touching the baby?  How can you support in these things?
• Taste – what foods or tastes are pleasing to mom?  Can she have a special meal before labor?  Will there be a decision regarding breastmilk?  You can use our postpartum resources for information on this.  Can mom kiss baby?  All of these things might fit into the taste category.
• Smell – giving a baby a bath who is not alive, can be anything from slightly different to substantially different from giving a baby a bath who is alive.  Going slow is so important, and it is wise to rather invite the parents to do such special things themselves, although it can be entirely appropriate for you to do it too.  Bathing isn’t about taking off impurities from a baby, it’s about the mom being able to look at her baby within waters, as a climax to bonding in-utero.  It’s about submerging the baby in waters of love, as the mother submerges in waters of healing.  Using a special scent can be very meaningful.  Likewise, spritzing the baby blanket or clothes also can be special.  Oftentimes mothers will seal these items in Ziploc bags, to keep the scent even longer.

Now, what about issues of safety, or special circumstances, or financial or liability questions?  I’d invite you to check out our handbook for a glimpse into these things, and our full online training for the in-depth support into these and so many more aspects of birth & bereavement support.

I really want to reiterate about asking permission.  You can show such great honor to the family by allowing them permission to author their own journey, at a time when so much can feel so enormously stripped away from them.  Even if it seems a trivial thing, ask permission.  This gives ownership.  Empowerment.  Authorship.  Dignity.  If you know that they are making a decision that you believe may complicate their journey later, such as not bonding whatsoever during the Welcoming, you can still go slow, validate, provide options and supplement resources.

“This is a scary time, and no matter what you decide, I’m here for you.  I feel compelled to tell you, that moms who have been here in this impossible time before you, who don’t spend time in the Welcoming, as devastating as this time is, they have even more painful journeys later, past the Farewell, and if they could offer you any encouragement, it would be to spend a little more time in these moments.  I’m here with you.  We’re walking this together…..”

Finally, prepare and pack.

• Get prepared in a tangible way.

You can learn more about supporting during birth & bereavement by utilizing any of the options mentioned at the beginning of this article.

If you are a passionate advocate in the fields of perinatal psychology, maternity, childbirth and/or bereavement, stillbirthday wants to hear from you!

We’re going to be building a collection of messages from speakers, authors, advocates all over the world in all areas related to birth and bereavement, and we want you to be a part!

Just use the form below, and we’ll set up a 45 minute session, where we’re just going to chat it out, and you can share about your passions, your work and your message.  And these exclusive interviews will be held in an awesome library collection just for our virtual workshops!

If you’re a messenger, this is a really neat time to get connected with other messengers you might otherwise wouldn’t have, and to share your message in a community who will benefit greatly from you and your work!

Our interview sessions will begin in February.  These will be fully audio/visual/typing capable meetings through Stillbirthday University.  Selected speakers will be given presenter access for our recordings.  If you’re wanting to listen to the experts in your fields of interest, you can click here to learn about all of our workshops, and click here to register here for our virtual workshops.

Share your message!

See the lineup!

When experts come together to share their hearts, we are the ones who benefit.  Check out the speakers for our Virtual Workshops and make sure you’re registered and ready to be validated, equipped, and moved by their messages.

Elly Taylor

Counsellor, author of Becoming Us and advocate and international speaker on all subjects pertaining to healthy relationships.

._._._.

Deb Puterbaugh

Founder of Institute of Feminine Arts & Sciences, Communications Board Liaison of Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health (APPPAH), licensed Midwife

._._._.

Kelly Townsend

Arizona House of Representatives, author of Christ Centered Childbirth, and founder of Cascade Christian Childbirth Association.

._._._.

Darren Mattock

Founder of Becoming Dad (also found on Facebook), spokesperson and facilitator of education, engagement and support for fathers.

._._._.

Donna Murphy

Founder of Heaven’s Gain, providing infant caskets and more.

._._._.

Lauretta Clay

Certified SBD Doula, Doula Advisory Team Leader

._._._.

Dawn Gilner

Licensed Professional Counselor, Founder of Maguire Gilner Foundation

The video for our 2013 remembrance event has just been released!

Please click here to add your babies’ names to our 2014 remembrance event.

Stillbirthday offers a humble and deeply thankful appreciation to:

Anecdotally Yours videography team for their professionalism, talent and love.  Each time you are drawn to watch the video again, it may reveal a new subtly spectacular moment, calling you to a new level of appreciation to the gifts they have brought to make our special memories so very special, indeed.

Old World Balloonery for their enormous support of stillbirthday, and for the entirely beautiful opportunity they’ve presented to all of us.  The ride itself was so very precious, but beyond Jason’s true expertise, by sharing in the purpose of our event and honoring the meaning of it makes Old World Balloonery a true treasure.

New Birth Company for allowing us to film the hearts writing and interview portion at their gorgeous birth center, where I gave birth to my “rainbow” daughter.

On October 7, Krystal Scoggs gave birth to her fifth child, a son.

He was born in the fifth month of pregnancy: approximately 18-21 gestation weeks.

After the birth, Krystal needed medical attention, and has been hospitalized for several weeks.  She and her husband have four surviving children, who have been under the care of their grandparents during this time.

On November 6, news networks reported an investigation at the Scoggs’ home which was related to a stolen vehicle and marijuana paraphernalia.

Because Mr. Scoggs gave permission into the investigation, a blue tub was discovered, which appears to have been in their shed, filled with cement.

The cement held their baby, who was not born alive.

The family have expressed their desire to create a special memorial for their baby, but with Krystal’s physical health requiring weeks of medical attention, they have postponed this until both parents can participate together.

Without support such as our birth plans, doulas, and postpartum support, it is entirely plausible that Krystal might have needed medical attention for substantial postpartum blood loss in particular, given this was her fifth pregnancy, and the time in gestation in which her son was born.

Without information like we provide here at stillbirthday through our farewell celebration resources, cement might have seemed to be an affordable way of holding the baby in a way that would be in consideration of sanitation and decomposition issues.

Their loss is being reported as “an alleged miscarriage” which is still in conjunction to the fifth month of pregnancy the family has reported.

Investigators, however, are painting a frightening story, neighbors are feeling suspicious and have been quoted as fearing their lives, and the prosecutor involved went on record as stating, “To have infant remains in concrete [in a] bucket — that’s why there’s a law against doing that,” clearly depicting the family’s response to their loss as not only unnatural, but illegal.

Actually, section 194.378 of Missouri Revised Statutes states that

“194.378.

In every instance of fetal death, the mother has the right to determine the final disposition of the remains of the fetus, regardless of the duration of the pregnancy.  The mother may choose any means of final disposition authorized by law or by the director of the department of health and senior services.

(L. 2004 H.B. 1136)”

This is further expanded upon in Section 194.387 which states that the mother is also entitled to counseling services.

So what does the mother say?

Krystal says,

“The only reason my baby was not in the ground and my husband is being accused of abandonment of a corpse is because I begged my husband to wait until I was healthy enough and strong enough to finish it (the memorial) hand-in-hand with him together,” she said.

When she was asked why they didn’t call 911 after her alleged miscarriage, she said there was no reason to.

“It’s a natural act of Mother Earth, it’s something that happens every day,” she said.

In fact, an American mother endures a miscarriage every minute.

The fact remains that this family has stated that they intend to memorialize and honor their son, together.

Mr. Scroggs, though, is being charged with abandonment of a corpse, and will appear in court on December 12.

What to do?

What to do, if a family legitimately wants to memorialize their deceased baby, who died via miscarriage, in a family in which four other children are loved and cared for by two generations of adults?  What to do when finances are a factor, when the mother’s health is a factor, when sanitation makes time a factor, when honoring their baby to the best of their ability means using cement to hold him until the family finds the right place to honor him?

The verdict isn’t in yet.  I am not an investigator in this case and I don’t know what else they’ll find.  But they do not have enough evidence right now to paint this family as murderers, scare their entire community, which will have years of repercussions, and show the bereaved community – of which I am a part – as some bizarre, mentally unstable, creepy people who do unnatural things to our young and to ourselves.

Giving birth to a baby who is not alive?  That is unnatural.  That is not normal.  That is not right.

But, it is common.

Wanting to memorialize a baby who is not alive, wanting to hold a farewell celebration in which both parents can attend, is an acceptable and responsible thing to do.

Using what resources you have, given the best of your ability and knowledge at a moment of chaos and despair, is an acceptable and responsible thing to do.

If it does turn out that these are the circumstances, my love goes to this family enduring such a catastrophic turn of events in an already impossibly overwhelming time.

And if not, may the news coverage update rapidly to include any new findings, because the implications in the current portrayal of, truly, an entire global community of bereaved parents, is unacceptable.  Criminalizing bereavement is an atrocity.

May we all become more open to talking about pregnancy and infant loss, because it is not normal, it is not natural, and because it is common.

With pregnancy and baby announcements from our loved ones, the awkward pauses, the empty seat at the table, and the underlying questions still left unanswered, it is no wonder Christmas can bring with it heightened anxiety or even dread for bereaved parents.

Wait, what’s that, you ask?  What are those unanswered questions?  Here’s just a few:

God, why did You, in Your great omnipotence, let this happen?
Did I do something wrong?  Why won’t my husband let me grieve?  Does he still even love me?  Will I ever feel whole again?

God, where are you?

And the comparison that Jesus died too – in His thirties – hardly suffices as ointment for these broken wounds.

We’ll be spending some intentional time between Thanksgiving and Christmas offering different perspectives and pieces of encouragement for our community, but if you’re dreading Christmas and just wish it would quietly move past us all without anyone noticing – this is precisely what may have happened.

Let me explain.

 This is an article that speaks specifically to Christian faith.  If you are not Christian, you may not enjoy this article.

The Old Testament festivals were not only essential in protecting God’s chosen people from health concerns and the idolatry of neighboring countries, but each foreshadowed an important aspect of the life of Jesus Christ (and therefore the new life in Christ for each believer).  In reviewing these Old Testament festivals, each is also symbolic of an important aspect of the life of the growing baby in the womb.  These secondary interpretations do not replace the original, literal context of the Scriptures, but add to them and enrich our understanding of our God, and of the importance of life in the womb.  The correlation of these festivals reveal that conception, gestation, and birth are all reflective of our Lord Jesus Christ; we cannot “choose” to be made in His image, from conception, we simply already are.

Lamb Selection

On the tenth day of the first month (Nisan-typically April) of the Jewish calendar year (lunar calendar follows a 28-day cycle), the Israelites were instructed to select a perfect, flawless, completely white lamb to sacrifice to God and to provide for their family (Exodus 12:3).

Foreshadow of Christ: He is our perfect sacrifice and complete provision.

New life: On the tenth day of the woman’s menstrual cycle (also following the lunar, 28 day cycle), she discharges a white, stretchy liquid from her cervix (which can be found when she wipes or a small amount in her panties); this marks her heightened fertility.

Passover

On the fourteenth day of the first month of the Jewish calendar year, the Israelites were instructed to sacrifice the lamb, and instructions were given to mark their door frames; thus, the Spirit of God would pass over them and bless them with continued life.  The Passover is not an event marked by death; instead it is a celebration of life.   When the instructions were followed correctly and at the proper time, God blessed the family.

Foreshadow of Christ: As already stated, He is our perfect sacrifice and complete provision.  His selfless sacrifice, at the right time, permitted each believer to be blessed with eternal life.

New life: On the fourteenth day of the woman’s cycle, an egg is released (this is adjusted for women with irregular cycles).  It has only within the following 24-hour period to be fertilized, or it will pass on as the woman’s next menstrual cycle.  It is within this 24-hour period alone that there is chance for new life.

*Unleavened Bread

According to Leviticus 23:6, the festival of Unleavened Bread must occur on the fifteenth day of the first month, or, within 24-hours of the Passover.  The Israelites were instructed to eat only unleavened bread (or the pure kernel without yeast—see John 12:24) as a sign of a Holy walk.

Foreshadow of Christ: We see from Scripture that Jesus was buried at the beginning of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, to later rise again, as all Christians shall.  Jesus died in only 6 hours, an unprecedented amount of time, so that each of the symbolic and prophetic festivals could be preserved.

New life: As mentioned earlier, the seed (sperm) needs to implant the egg within the important 24-hour period for new life to occur.

First Fruits

The purpose of the celebration of First Fruits is to acknowledge God’s blessing of fertility.  The Israelites were instructed to collect the very first young crops and present them to the Lord for an offering.  This festival takes place the immediate Sunday after Passover, occurring during the celebration of Unleavened Bread.  Today’s celebration is now called Easter, and as we celebrate with objects of fertility, it is intended to be a celebration of God’s faithfulness.

Foreshadow of Christ: Jesus was resurrected and received by God during First Fruits, as an offering to acknowledge His faithfulness and the hope and knowledge that more believers after Him will also be resurrected (1 Cor. 15:23). 

New life: After the fertilized egg travels down the fallopian tube and into the uterus, it implants into the lining of the rich uterine wall.  It is the hormonal changes prompted by this implanting that first signals change in the woman—the first sign of life, which can be identified by a blood test, and later, a urine test.

Purim

While Purim is not one of the Old Testament festivals ordained by God, it is one proclaimed by His people.  Similar to Hanukkah in this way, it doesn’t have the same exact fit in regard to the Gregorian calendar, yet it still has spiritual and physical implication in regard to its harmony with fetal development.  Purim is a celebration to honor the deliverance of the Jews in the time of Esther.  It is celebrated on either the 14th or 15th of the Jewish month of Adar, which is approximately in February or March.  It is known for God hiding Himself from His people.  Scholarly studies explain that when one hides his true identity and assumes another identity, his true self is revealed.  It is associated with giving birth to renew the ultimate self.  The word kuf also alludes to the “eye of a needle.”  Through this eye, God’s light enters to reveal its glory to the Jewish soul.

Foreshadow of Christ: Purim is noted for its celebration of reciprocity.  Through Jesus’ death and His gifts of Salvation and the Holy Spirit, we have an opportunity to engage in a reciprical relationship, a communion, with Him.

New Life: As the corpus luteum begins to diminish at approximately seven weeks after Passover, the baby’s placenta begins to supplement and by twelve weeks after conception fully takes over life sustaining hormone production.  The synthesis and secretion of steroid hormones by the placenta requires the collaboration of both fetal and maternal tissues.

*Pentecost

This celebration occurs on a Sunday, the fiftieth day after the celebration of First Fruits (Lev. 23:15-16).  Known as the Summer Harvest (usually in late May or early June), more crops are available then First Fruits, but still not as many as will be available at the coming Fall Harvest.

Foreshadow of Christ: Acts 2 records the day of Pentecost, which marks the first day of the Church of Jesus Christ (essential point of Premillenial Dispensationalism), where a harvest was brought in, of over three thousand souls.

New life: High school science texts often show a similar in-utero development of humans to other species, attempting to prove evolution-like theories.  What they all fail to emphasize, however, is that on exactly the fiftieth day of development from the day of implantation, the growing embryo is  considered a new creature; this new creature is identified as a human (fetus), and as science and scripture both tell us, set apart from all other life forms.

Trumpets

On the first day of the seventh month of the Jewish calendar year (Tishrei-usually September), the Israelites were instructed to have a Holy ceremony involving the blowing of horns (Lev. 23:24).  Immediately upon hearing the trumpets sound, the faithful workers from the surrounding fields would drop their work and come into the temple for worship; the unbelievers stayed and continued to work without them (Matthew 24:40).

Foreshadow of Christ: Representative of the Church age, and the coming Rapture (1 Thess. 4:16-17).

New life: While all major development has already occurred prior to and leading up to Pentecost (the unmistakable identification of a human), on the first day of the seventh month, the baby can now discriminate differing noises, and respond to them accordingly.

Atonement

On the tenth day of the seventh month (again, Tishrei), the High Priest enters the Holy of Holies to make a sacrifice for the sins of himself and all the Israelites.

Foreshadow of Christ: Jesus is to the believing Church the ultimate and complete atoning sacrifice, and at His Second Coming, He will atone for surviving Israel (Zech. 13:8) as well (Romans 11:26; there is a future for Israel).

New life: On the tenth day of the seventh month, hemoglobin in fetal blood changes to work with the oxygen it will be receiving at birth (to be self-respirating).  Hemoglobin F changes to Hemoglobin A.

*Tabernacles

On the fifteenth day of the seventh month (Ethanon, seventh full moon of the Jewish year—falls between late September and early November), the Israelites were to celebrate God’s provision of shelter in the wilderness (Lev. 23: 42-43).

Foreshadow of Christ: Kingdom, the last of the festivals; Jesus’ great Tabernacle in Jerusalem during the Kingdom Age.  (Zech. 14:16-19) (Ezekiel 37:26-27).

New life: Tabernacle is the house of the spirit, and the lungs the house of the air.  (Genesis 2:7, Ezekiel 37:9).  The baby and the believer are both fully equipped to sustain life.

*Pilgrim Festivals: Israelite males present themselves to Yahweh three times a year.  During this time, their communities are left vulnerable, without male protection, but with the protection of God.  The entire family has a responsibility to participate and to surrender in faith.  These correlate with the beginning, the middle and the end of pregnancy.

Hanukkah

This Festival of Lights is celebrated 280 days after Passover.  It is not one of the instructed festivals given on Mt. Sinai but prophesied by Daniel (Daniel 8:9-14) and represents eternal light.  At the rededication of the Holy Temple following the victory over the Maccabees, there was only enough consecrated olive oil to fuel the Eternal Flame in the Temple for one day; however, the oil burned for eight days, the length of time it took to prepare and consecrate additional fresh olive oil.

Foreshadow of Christ: This festival is representative of eternal life, which is a direct metaphor of Jesus Christ.

New life: 280 days equals one complete pregnancy; the physical demonstration of childbirth resembles the spiritual truth that we each have eternal life with God through Jesus.

Purim

Purim is celebrated in the last month of the Jewish calendar year.  It is known for God hiding Himself from His people.  Scholarly studies explain that when one hides his true identity and assumes another identity, his true self is revealed.  It is associated with giving birth to renew the ultimate self.  The word kuf also alludes to the “eye of a needle.”  Through this eye, God’s light enters to reveal its glory to the Jewish soul.

Foreshadow of Christ: Purim is noted for its celebration of reciprocity.  Through Jesus’ death and His gifts of Salvation and the Holy Spirit, we have an opportunity to engage in a reciprical relationship, a communion, with Him.

New Life: The reciprical nature of death on earth and birth in eternity.

So, did we miss Christmas?

In Luke 1, we read that Zechariah was visited by the angel Gabriel while he was serving at the temple.  Because Zechariah belonged to the division of Abijah, the 8th tribe, we might deduce that this encounter took place within the week he was serving, and we can compare that to the Hebrew calendar.  From there we read when Mary visited Elizabeth, to announce her pregnancy, while Elizabeth was in her 6th month of pregnancy.  This allows us to apply Elizabeth’s pregnancy to determine an approximate time Jesus may have been born.  And while there are plenty of theories about when He was born, and none of us know precisely when He was born – the knowledge that Mary and Joseph were traveling and that ultimately Jesus was laid in a manger, certainly point to the festival of Tabernacles and the temporary shelters used for this pilgrim festival.

“After enduring loss, I’m waiting until after the first trimester to announce my pregnancy.”

Incidentally, Elizabeth kept her pregnancy hidden for 5 months.  She was an older woman, shamed that she could not bear children.  It is entirely possible that once she became pregnant, she hid her pregnancy for fear of ridicule and mocking by her loved ones.  Not having pregnancy tests, imagine her waiting until her belly was round enough to prove for itself that a baby was inside.

When the scriptures included here in these passages are read, it reveals that Christmas – the actual birth of Jesus – may have happened during the festival of Tabernacles.  And this year, the festival of Tabernacles was between September 18-25.

So as we walk this together, building encouragement and tips for not only enduring this holiday season, but even in finding joy in it, may this article serve to lift a bit of the pressure, may you be encouraged that we don’t actually know the day Jesus was born.  An arbitrary day was selected.  Maybe you labored for days and are not sure when you gave birth.  Maybe flushing was inevitable.  Maybe you gave birth with medical assistance and it didn’t feel like a birth.  Maybe you can select a special day that you designate to honor your little one.

However you face the holiday season, you aren’t alone. 

You are worthy to be loved and to receive healing.