Many mothers, and fathers too, have started special blogs in honor of our children either born via miscarriage, stillbirth, or with a fatal diagnosis.  In our blogs we share our stories and we work together to share awareness and information about helpful resources for other families.

Stillbirthday has served thousands of families, and while I personally think stillbirthday is amazing, I’d like to hear from you!  YOU have an opportunity to bring validation, healing, and even joy to hurting families – just by using the tools, the blog, you already have.

You do not need to be a loss parent to participate in this contest – if you win, you can use the prize as a gift to a loss family that you know.

Here’s what to do:

1. Write a blog post about stillbirthday.  “Tag” it however you want, but it needs to also be tagged as “stillbirthday”.  Write about what the website has meant to you, how it has helped, how you found it, whatever you’d like.  Just, share a little about how stillbirthday has impacted you.  In your post, encourage your readers to leave you a comment on your post.

2. Reply here with your link to your post, so I can update this article to start a list of posts for all of us to go check out.  This will increase your chances of sharing your blog with other readers here, too!

3. The blog post with the most comments wins!  You can generate comments by asking questions, such as “Have you ever experienced loss?”  “Did you feel supported through loss?”  “What sort of support would have helped you through your loss?”

The prize is going to be a surprise package that includes beautiful special baby loss keepsakes and will be mailed to the winner.  These items are being contributed by the following pregnancy and infant loss organizations:

• Miscarriage Blankets and More, and
• Personalized Custom Creations and More

The comments on each blog post will be counted on March 20, 2012 – the first day of Spring.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.  ~Doug Larson

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.  ~Anne Bradstreet

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world.  ~Virgil A. Kraft

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming.  ~Pablo Neruda

Here’s the current participants:

Emma – Given a Glimpse of Perfection (a stillbirthday post)

Hope – Shout Out to Stillbirthday

Seili – A Loving Place

Hannah – The Blessing of a Photo

Molly-Honoring Miscarriage

Tesha – The Good, The Bad, The Beautiful

UPDATE!  The winner is Hannah, with 43 comments!   And, this is the same week as her daughter’s second stillbirthday…

Congratulations, Hannah.  I hope that winning this contest can bring just a little bit of happiness during this very sad time.  Sending you lots and lots of love, Sister. 

I also want to thank the owners of Miscarriage Blankets and More and Personalized Custom Creations for their generous participation in this giveaway, and for each mother who wrote and submitted a beautiful blogpost to be counted toward the contest.  It has been a blessing to me.

After a pregnancy or infant loss, the mother is left to hold nothing but her empty womb and she’s left to try to sort through how what once was her baby’s first home has so quickly become his or her dark, empty tomb.  Reflection, trying to piece it all together, trying to assimilate this deep tragedy, these things are all vitally important to the mothers emotional and mental health.

Many mothers, not all, but many mothers who reflect on their losses experience some level of blame and accusation in their grief reaction, whether their reflection takes place immediately following their loss, or even many years later.  Here are some examples:

• Could the nurse have foreseen complications in my labor?
• Could the OB have known more about my baby or my birth?
• Could the midwife have transferred me sooner?
• If things were cheaper or more affordable, would I have made a different birth plan?  Would I have gotten more or less testing during the pregnancy?
• If there had been more information/education available, would I have done things differently?
• Could my family have been more supportive of me while I was pregnant or during my loss?
• Could my employer have been more supportive of me while I was pregnant or during my loss?
• Could __________ have been more supportive of me while I was pregnant or during my loss?

There are many reasons why this sort of reflection is important.  First, it gives passion.  This passion fuels energy and motivates the bereaved mother to find answers.  The way she interprets her past will help shape her future.  If she wonders if things could have been handled differently, it can encourage her to learn more, to share her story, and to seek change.  In short, her passion gives her purpose.  This purpose gives her the bravery she needs to share her story.  A mother simply cannot “undo” her pregnancy and the reality of her child.  In fact, as soon as she learns that she is pregnant, she begins to submit to motherhood.  This submission, in and of itself, this anticipation and emotional preparation, is grieved after a pregnancy loss.  To many mothers, pregnancy loss is impossible to hide.  It becomes a permanent part of the mother’s identity.  Being able to share her experience gives life to what was lost.   Ultimately, the passion to find purpose in her loss can sustain her through the tumultuous journey of grief.  In short, having a passion can save her own life.

Another reason this reflection is important, is that it gives other people something that they can identify with.  Not everyone is personally impacted by pregnancy loss, but we each know what it’s like to feel abandoned, to feel violated, to feel unsupported, to feel foolish or naive or vulnerable and we each know what it’s like to be let down.  When a mother says, “I wish I had known/done ___” it gives us an opportunity to reach her.  We can find that hurt in our own lives and we can relate to her.  This reflection that includes blame can serve to be a bridge of communication and feelings that unites otherwise nonrelated people and feelings.  It allows for more people to surround the mother with more aspects of love, compassion and direction for her to utilize.  This can serve to sustain her on her journey of finding and giving purpose to her experience.

When a bereaved mother exhibits that she is on this path of reflection that includes blame, we as her audience have certain responsibilities:

• We are responsible to not force her to stop.
• We are responsible to tell her what boundaries we expect her to honor.
• We are responsible to tell her what will result if she violates those expectations.
• We are responsible to trust that she will grieve how she needs to grieve and that she will move into a different aspect of her grief when it is her time to do so.

Here is an example of how this would look:

A bereaved mother presents herself to be certain that her OB’s negligence resulted in the stillbirth of her son.  The hospital where she delivered her son is near her home – it is easier for her to drive past it than it is to find a new route to avoid it.  Every time she sees the hospital, anger wells in her heart.  One day, she pulls into the parking lot.  She walks across the parking lot and as each step brings her closer to the entrance, the massive, looming building overwhelms her with vulnerability and anguish.  She pushes the button to have the elevator take her to the maternity floor.  She enters the unit, and screams at the top of her lungs “MY DOCTOR TOOK MY BABY!”  A hospital employee rushes over to her and promptly tells her firmly, “I am sorry for your loss, ma’am, but you cannot come bursting in here like this.  Let me find someone you can speak with privately on this matter.” The mother begins to protest, ready to scream again.  The employee cuts her short and says firmly, “If you continue to scream you are going to be escorted out of the building.”

Here is another example:

A bereaved mother presents herself to be certain that her midwife’s negligence resulted in the death of her daughter.  The mother uses social media as a means of communicating her feelings, and she tells other mothers to be weary of this midwife.  She writes a comment on a doula’s Facebook page, telling the mothers who are reading not to trust that midwife.  The doula responds firmly, “I am sorry for your loss, but this is not the right place to share about your grief.  Let me find a resource to help you.”  The mother replies by saying that she feels it is her job to warn others.  The doula replies, “If you have suggestions or recommendations you’d like to share, I would welcome them, but I will not allow for negative feedback on my page.  If someome specifically asks about that midwife, you can share court reports or investigations or things that are substantial.  Right now, you are putting me in a place of having to decide if your story is true or not, and that is not fair to me but especially not fair to you.  Let me get you a resource or two (stillbirthday) that can help you work through these feelings, because they are important.”

There are a few reasons why it is important to take our responsibilities in her grief seriously:

• Grief can be volatile and the mother can quickly become suicidal.
• Giving her our own interpretation of things cuts her journey off.  It puts the focus of her energy on blindly resenting or blindly obeying our suggestions.  In short, the focus is taken off of how she assimilates her experience, to how she feels about your interpretation of her experience (this is not only true for her listening audience, but any legal action involved in her situation can impact her grief reaction).
• If you are not legally authorized to substantiate her accusations, you can choose to lead her to resources that will join her in her journey to substantiating her accusations, but you need to take great care in how you engage her so as not to promote magnified, irrational, explosive, uncontrollable blame or anger.

Additionally, recall the questions posed at the beginning of this article – those questions that have an emphasis in blame.  Oftentimes, the emphasis in blame is the only way the mother can really ask the questions that are on her heart – questions that are not rooted in this external blame at all, but are rooted in guilt.  Consider the comparison:

• Should I have relied on the nurse to foresee complications?
• Should I have picked that OB?
• Should I have trusted that midwife?
• Should I have made a different birth plan?  Should I have gotten more or less testing or more education/information during the pregnancy?
• Should I have expected __________ to be more supportive of me while I was pregnant or during my loss?

These are extraordinarily tough questions – and it is NOT our responsibility to thrust these questions onto a grieving mother.  Remember, one of our responsibilities is to trust that she will grieve how she needs to grieve and that she will move into a different aspect of her grief when it is her time to do so.  It is unhealthy and frankly dangerous to force these questions onto a mother before it is her time to see them.  There are tools that she can access, which can help her through her grief, including stillbirthday and all of the resources available here.

In the end, blame can, with direction, lead to something much more substantial and an energy that is much more longlasting and effective: forgiveness and healing.

This brings me to a final point, and that is there are aspects of her grief response for which we are not responsible:

• We are not responsible for making her recall her experiences a certain way.
• We are not responsible for her emotional or physical reactions in her grief.
• We are not responsible for decisions she makes on her journey through grief.
• We are not responsible for shaping the timetable of her grief.

We cannot do everything for her, but we can do something.  And because we can do something, we should not refuse to do the something that we can do. – Helen Keller

Our family/friends section has additional resources, suggestions and tips for approaching someone who is bereaved.  You may find that section, among many here, to be helpful for additional support.

Finally, I’d like to share a personal story with you.

Last Valentine’s Day, my husband and I had three rowdy boys.  I was homeschooling, cleaning the house, washing and folding the laundry – you know, I was being a wife and mom.  My husband was working full time, waking up to an alarm clock every morning, showering in the early morning, making coffee, and leaving for work, while his family slept.  He worked, exhaustedly, sweating, pouring himself into his profession.  He came home to change diapers, help clean up the kitchen, snuggle the little ones in bed, and then listen to me share my burdens or share with him the developments in his children that he missed that day – you know, he was being a husband and dad.

So, for Valentine’s Day, he treated us both to an overnight stay at a bed and breakfast.  It was near our home, but was a place for us to just escape for an entire evening and long, lazy morning.  It was wonderfully romantic.

Part of the experience – the atmosphere – of this quaint, warm, cozy bed and breakfast was a wine tasting.  I indulged and really enjoyed the lovely flavors of the different wines.

We had a delightfully romantic evening, followed by a snuggly, lazy morning, before heading home to our children and their grandma.

I soon discovered that I had a bladder infection.

I tried all of the natural remedies I know of, and then finally went to the doctor.

He asked me if I was pregnant, and I told him that it would be too early to tell, but that I very well could be.  He gave me a urine pregnancy test, which was negative, and wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic.

I filled it at my local pharmacy.  The face in the drive through window asked if I was pregnant.  I told her the same thing, that it is too early to tell but that I very well could be.  She frowned, and handed me the small white package.  On it, printed in big, bold black ink, “Confirm Not Pregnant.”

I found out that I was pregnant soon after.  I was excited to be pregnant again!  I felt like I knew I would be.  I wrote an article on my personal blog entitled, “Cupid, My Quiver Filler”.  I didn’t tell anybody about the bladder infection.  I stopped taking the antibiotic because I was concerned about the warning on it.  The bladder infection didn’t go away, and so I rigorously tried every natural thing I could think of.  Finally, I went back to the doctor, and received another, a different, antibiotic.  This time, nobody asked if I was pregnant.

Soon after, my baby died.

For weeks, I held on to the question that the first antibiotic, which was clearly not safe for pregnancy, killed my baby.  I recalled in horror as the doctor wrote me the same prescription he had planned, even after I told him I felt like I could be pregnant.  The dark foreboding words bled through my heart “Confirm Not Pregnant.”  I couldn’t bring myself to ask – I couldn’t bring myself to know.  I carried the wonder, until I was ready to look for myself.

When I was ready, I investigated.  I called the pharmacy to find the names of both antibiotics.  I researched them.  And, I came to find out, that the cause of my baby’s death wasn’t likely to be the antibiotic – maybe, but not likely.

And so I knew what I needed to find out next.  I researched to see if an untreated bladder infection can cause a miscarriage.

It can.

I sit here now, with Valentines Day nearing, and remembering how very different things were last year.  It has been an entire year, and I am only just now able to share this.  Would my heart have been ready to hear that I played an integral role in the death of my own baby by any other means than my own?  I remember seeing my baby, my tiny, crumpled, incomplete but perfect baby sit in the palm of my hand.  I remember chanting, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” and I remember the confusion I sensed from my husband at my reaction, because I wasn’t brave enough to tell him that my own irresponsible actions played a part in the death of his baby.  He didn’t know.

When I was ready, I went back to my OB.  I told him that I wasn’t sure that the first prescription caused my miscarriage, but that I was concerned simply for the fact that it could have.  I told him that I expect him to prescribe for women who are of childbearing age and who believe that they may be pregnant as if they are pregnant whenever possible.  He said he would, that he could see how it could hurt me to always wonder, and he told me he was sorry for my loss.  And I forgave him for the possibility of killing my baby.

When I was ready, I played back that romantic Valentines Day night over in my mind.  I saw the course of events and knew for certain that I would do things differently if only I had known.  I reminded myself that I simply did not know.  It is painful – it is painful beyond comprehension and expression – to articulate knowing that I will always wonder.  But, when I was ready, I forgave myself for the possibility of killing my baby.

I can say with full certainty that I would not have reached that point if it was thrust upon me by others.  I needed my own space to grieve – as does every mother.  My own space allowed me to share in my own way, and in my own time.  I created stillbirthday, so that families can have their own space, to also explore their grief – in their own way, and in their own time.

This is a message from the site creator.  It has graphic and disturbing content  and is intended to provide a resolution to a particular conflict that has arisen that has not been able to be reconciled privately.

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders  and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.  (Luke 15:1-7)

When my mother was pregnant with me, my parents were not married.  They were thick in illegal activities and running from the authorities.  My mother had a traumatic birth experience which began with my father driving her to the hospital, in full labor, on the back of the motorcycle, and ended with her feeling ashamed and dirty and alone with a wailing, needy baby.

Two years before I was born, my mother gave birth to a stillborn baby girl, whom as she recalls she was forced to name but unable to hold.  Heather Rose is my older half sister, conceived by a different father.  I do not know how she died, only that she was stillborn.

After my birth, my father resumed his illegal activities, and my mother attempted to fulfill all domestic responsibilities alone, fighting her own addictions and habits, and fighting just to survive my father’s abusive and violent temper.

When I was almost two years old, my mother tried to leave my father.  She took me and stayed hidden at a neighbor’s house, I suppose until she could figure out what to do next.

My father responded by decapitating our dog, leaving him on the front porch, with a note that said that we were next.

My mother fled to a different state.

Her background followed her, and so did the authorities.

I was placed in emergency state custody, while my mother was sent to prison.  Nobody could find my father.

I spent several years moving around various foster homes, until the state-to-state compact of social services could figure out what to do.

They finally located my father, and, not knowing that he was still very much involved in illegal activity, only knowing that my mother was in prison, they believed that I should be reunited with him.

I lived with my father for about a year.

I spent the remainder of my childhood trying to navigate and survive a life of sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse, and rape.

Every six months I had a new foster home, a new program I was supposed to work through, a new family I was supposed to become a temporary part of.  I entered into new schools, exhausted and broken, wanting a friend, and finding torment and social abandonment instead.

As a teenager, even while in the midst of trying to sort out who I was and what purpose I even had, I had an empathy for others who were hurting.

I became involved in counseling programs for children, even as I was receiving counseling for my own childhood.

I spent years, volunteering, supporting, validating, and loving.  It was rewarding, and even though it didn’t take my own pain away, it was very healing.

I began to pursue social work academically.

As I rushed through my studies to achieve a MSW, I became pregnant.

Through my pregnancy, I learned about the amazing maternal physiological changes that take place during pregnancy and during childbirth, and I was captivated.

I knew, I just knew, that if I could make more parents understand this, then they would fall in love with the experience – and subsequently, they would fall in love with their children.

“Preventative Social Work” is what I called it, as I began to explore the concept of doula work.

I learned that others have come before me on this marvelous expedition of understanding and harnessing the profound changes that take place during pregnancy and childbirth.

As a doula, I began working with the same demographic that I was accustomed to: economically and socially high risk mothers.   I taught them about everything I knew of pregnancy and childbirth, and through the experiences, not only did they have satisfying outcomes, they had less interventions, better bonding, and, they learned about something consistant and stable they could take home with them long after I packed up my doula supplies: they learned about God, and His plan for families.

As I continued to work with my clients, I became increasingly aware of a need to provide a deeper sense of trust.  They didn’t just want to hear about why an intervention could be avoided, but why these interventions were even options.  I began to explore my doula information in a more complete way, providing information on not only the risks of interventions, but also the benefits, and, how to work with them should they become needed.  I have provided doula support for hospital births, birth center births, homebirth transfers, and homebirths.  Regardless of the high percentage of high risk clients I have, I have an extremely low intervention rate.  When interventions are used, the mother knows and trusts that they are in fact needed.

This more analytical view led me to explore controversial websites, including Dr. Amy’s Facebook group, “Fed Up With Natural Childbirth”.  The title to me was totally absurd.  I was absolutely baffled that anyone could truly be fed up with natural childbirth.  So, I joined, just to introduce myself and see what it was all about.

I was quickly attacked.

I was immediately put on the defensive, and found myself not only explaining the benefits of doulas, but explaining the value of the Bible to me in my life.

It was exhuasting and honestly it was hurtful.

I thought about leaving, but I wanted to persevere and not only learn why these mothers were so angry, but to teach them that natural childbirth is good, and so is the Bible – that it’s not just about leading people to Jesus and hoping they convert, but simply about leading people to what is right, and then allowing them to see for themselves if Jesus is in it or not.

Then, I had my miscarriage.

I told them about it, and about the way the doctor treated me so horribly.

And, all of the questions stopped.  I wasn’t attacked or blamed for thinking that my doctor did a really terrible job of providing information to me.

They were gentle, honest, compassionate, empathetic, and, real.

But, to the rest of the world, they remained angry and unapproachable.

As I put stillbirthday together, I remember understanding the hurt that many of the mothers in that group were carrying.  The feeling of rejection, of failure, of no one to validate their pain.  I knew I wanted to leave a legacy for my miscarried baby, one that would be honoring and would be something that would help.

And I saw that these women were trying to do the same.

So, when stillbirthday was ready, I asked two of these mothers if they would be interested in being a part of it somehow.  They both agreed.

They are both still involved in a tangled internet mess that involves old things they’ve said in their grief, and resentments and doubts that people carry toward them because of the intentional pain and confusion they have attempted to retaliate with.

Now, as I have covered the history, I address this more directly.

The memories of pain don’t just go away.

I was a little girl, who had to start a new school every 6 months, sit at a different dining room table every 6 months, and I never hung the same Christmas ornaments twice.  I didn’t know what traditions were, family memories were, or what consistancy was.

I was angry.  I wanted desperately to fit in.  I wanted, to fit.

I grieved what I never knew, and I never got freedom from that until I was an older teenager, in my own apartment, and finally stopped moving.

I had to face that grief again, though, when I started dating, and I was confused and extremely insecure about my sexuality.

I had to face that grief again, though, when I became a mother and realized that my children would not have grandparents from my side of the family.

I had to face that grief again, though, when I experienced my pregnancy loss, and knew that my mother had had a pregnancy loss but that I couldn’t turn to her for comfort.

I had to face that grief again, though, when I discovered that I was the mother to a daughter, as my other children are boys.

In Matthew 18, Peter approaches Jesus and asks Him, “How many times am I to forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy seven times.” (Matthew 18:22)

You see, I am constantly reevaluating my past, and my grief, through the lens of my current situation.  Grief is ongoing.  We move through it, yes, but it is something we will always be moving through.

There is a grieving mother right now, whose sweet son was unexpectedly born still, and who feels angry that two mothers who could be so angry in the past now are using their stories and their passions for good through stillbirthday.

This grieving mother is using her anger to attempt to show that she has been a better griever all along than these other two mothers, who have also experienced pregnancy and infant loss.

To this grieving mother, I say:

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I know that there is nothing in the whole world like losing your child.  The helplessness, the emptiness, the devastation.  I am so sorry.

I didn’t know about you or your story until very recently.

I have tried to reach you privately, but I believe you feel defensive and hurt, and so I make this statement publicly so that you can read it knowing that others will read it too – and so that you will know that my feelings toward you will not change.

Stillbirthday is a safe place to work through grief, to share our stories, to learn from each other, to admit faults freely without condemnation or shame, and to hope again.

These two mothers, who were once angry and hostile even toward me – the doula, the Christian – are very different now.  They have watched a great many mistruths being shared about them, they have watched as their old blogposts and online comments have been thrust back in thier face in accusation and disgust.  They have watched as their grieving style has been ridiculed, they have watched as they have been publicly slandered, laughed at, mocked, and scorned.

They have a great deal of passion to help hurting mothers, and they both agree to the very rigid expectations I have of them while working as a part of stillbirthday.  Just like any other of the over 250 companies and individuals working to represent stillbirthday in one form or another, they will be held accountable if they breach their agreement with stillbirthday.

I know that you don’t trust that.  You remember the hurt that your conversations inflicted on you.  I know that.

And I know that, just like any grieving mother, you want to share your story with the world, and through your two friends, you have found a way to do that.

I know what beliefs you have regarding childbirth, regarding your care provider, and regarding your birth plans.  None of that is excluded here.  This is a place of healing.  It has nothing to do with any of that.

The offers I made to you privately still stand.

You are a grieving mother, who deserves as much validation as any other.  I see the lesson you are hoping to impart on these two mothers through your anger.  You are worried that they only set out to harm, and you want them to find real peace in their grieving.  I believe that they are.  They have come a long way from the biting, angry women you still see them as.  If you cannot yet forgive them for the hurt you feel, please know that I do forgive you for the way in which you expressed your concern.  I forgive you for publicly slandering me, publicly slandering two mothers who are working through their grief and working as a part of stillbirthday, and I forgive you for publicly slandering stillbirthday.

In my forgiveness, it is my deepest hope that you will see that where these two mothers are, and where they are headed, is much more constructive than where they were.  I hope you see that the anger you throw at them is not going to engage them in an online destructive aggression with you.  I am concerned that you will see that the way you are sharing your own story is not as productive as it could be, that it is tainted with its own areas that need developing and growing, and that your two friends are shaping your story to promote something totally unrelated to your son at all, and that his legacy is going to get lost in the propoganda.  In that concern, I do believe that you will come to recognize the integrity and value of this website, as so many have before you.

Stillbirthday is not going anywhere.  It has stood against several kinds of oppositions before, and I believe it will in the future.  It has remained a solid, trustworthy site and has served thousands of families all over the world in only a few short months.  When you are ready to use your story -when you are ready to allow your son’s legacy to be used for a higher purpose- stillbirthday will be here, and my offer to you, to come join us will still stand.

You are on my heart.  I am so very sorry for the death of your son.  It is my hope and prayer that you are able to work through this aspect of your grief in a constructive way, and that you always know that stillbirthday does not judge or condemn you for the way you are currently working through it.  I know why you are.

And you will always have a place here, just like any other grieving, stumbling mother.

Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”

Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders  and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.  (Luke 15:1-7)

The following volunteers run Love Cupboards in your country.  Please contact them to participate in our Love Cupboard clothing project and to receive a care package of newborn clothing and/or items.

If you are interested in contributing maternity clothing, newborn clothing or other newborn items, please see our Love Cupboard main page for contribution information, and contribute directly to any of the following volunteers:

Andover, Hampshire UK

• 10 Tiny Toes & a Button Nose – coordinated by Loren (TinyToes@stillbirthday.info)

Stratford, Ontario London

• In Memory of Mark – coordinated by Theresa (MemoryofMark@stillbirthday.info)

Newcastle upon Tyne, UK

• Isobel’s Love Cupboard – coordinated by Lynn (isobelslove@stillbirthday.info)

Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada

• Grand Prairie Love Cupboard – coordinated by Marcy (gplove@stillbirthday.info)

Guernsey, Channel Islands UK

• Little Lights Of Hope – coordinated by Aimee De Carteret (decarteretaimee@gmail.com)

Start another Love Cupboard!  It’s easy!  Please see the Love Cupboard main page for details.

To view the listing of Love Cupboards in your state or country, please visit the Love Cupboard tab.  This is a list of our Love Cupboard Coordinators to recognize their place as members of the SBD team.

• Cindy D, Little Bit of Love
• Lindy W., Phoenix Love Cupboard
• Shanoa, Sweet Peas Love Cupboard
• Linea, Beyond Birth Love Cupboard
• Julie, Silent Struggle
• La Trece, Makayla’s Little Love Cupboard
• Kalen, Forever Loved Love Cupboard
• Shanon, San Antonio Love Cupboard
• Marcy, Lucy’s Love
• Coretta, Labor of Love
• Amber, NewLove
• Alex O, Reagan’s Love Cupboard
• Kimberly, Space Coast Love Cupboard
• Christi, Celebrating Our Angels
• Amber O, Angel Bayley’s Love Cupboard
• Christelle, Tiny Treasures
• Carrie L, Maddelynne’s Love
• Alisha J, Angel Babies Love Cupboard
• Paige G, Daisies & Sunflowers of Love
• Nika M., CJM Love Cupboard
• Christy & Tabatha, Remember My Footprints
• Linda Ramirez, Matthew’s Treasure Chest
• Erika Slezak, Lloyd’s Lotus
• Felicia Beers, Cassidy’s Closet
• Jennifer Cantrell, Angel Wings Love Cupboard
• Elizabeth Petrucelli, Ruby’s Cupboard
• Nicolle Austin, Twinkle Twinkle Noelle Star
• Angela Hovda, DC Love Cupboard
• Natalie Burley, Olivia’s Love Cupboard
• Shanda Feltman, Tanner’s Heart (Georgia)
• Erikah Messamer, Love Cupboard: Jacksonville, NC
• Charla Nix, Chattanooga Love Cupboard (TN)
• Lisa Holleman, Pahrump Love Cupboard (NV)
• Lisa Cotter, Sioux City Love Cupboard (IA)
• Heidi Faith, Moms Connection

Outside of the United States

• Loren C., 10 Tiny Toes & a Button Nose
• Theresa, In Memory of Mark Love Cupboard
• Lynn, Isobel’s Love Cupboard
• Marcy, Grand Prairie Love
• Aimee De Carteret, Little Lights of Hope

The following volunteers run Love Cupboards in your state.  Please contact them to participate in our Love Cupboard clothing project and to receive a care package of newborn clothing and/or items.

If you are interested in contributing maternity clothing, newborn clothing or other newborn items, please see our Love Cupboard main page for contribution information, and contribute directly to any of the following volunteers:

• There are currently no Love Cupboards in this state.  Be the first to start one!  It’s easy!  Please see the Love Cupboard main page for details.

The following volunteers run Love Cupboards in your state.  Please contact them to participate in our Love Cupboard clothing project and to receive a care package of newborn clothing and/or items.

If you are interested in contributing maternity clothing, newborn clothing or other newborn items, please see our Love Cupboard main page for contribution information, and contribute directly to any of the following volunteers:

• There are currently no Love Cupboards in this state.  Be the first to start one!  It’s easy!  Please see the Love Cupboard main page for details.

The following volunteers run Love Cupboards in your state.  Please contact them to participate in our Love Cupboard clothing project and to receive a care package of newborn clothing and/or items.

If you are interested in contributing maternity clothing, newborn clothing or other newborn items, please see our Love Cupboard main page for contribution information, and contribute directly to any of the following volunteers:

Phoenix

• Phoenix Love Cupboard – coordinated by Lindy (Phoenix@stillbirthday.info)

Start another Love Cupboard!  Please see the Love Cupboard main page for details.