When a mother experiences a pregnancy loss, she needs time and care to assimilate the experience into her life.  Every aspect of her life is changed.  Pregnancies impact her: hearing that other people are pregnant, but also her own subsequent pregnancies impact her as well.

When a mother experiences a pregnancy loss, and then she becomes pregnant again, she doesn’t just “get to leave” the pregnancy loss demographic.  She will forever be a loss mom.

When a mother experiences a pregnancy loss, and then she becomes pregnant again, she enters into this new pregnancy in a different way than she has ever entered into a pregnancy before.

She is scared in a way she wasn’t before.

She is excited in a way she wasn’t before.

She is aware of loss mothers’ feelings toward her pregnancy in a way she wasn’t before.

She cherishes her pregnancy in a way she hasn’t before.

She is eager for the full term, live, happy delivery of her baby in a way she hadn’t been before.

When a mother experiences a pregnancy loss, and learns that another mother who has also endured a loss has become pregnant again, she needs to remember that this pregnancy does not take the mother out of grief.  It does not remove her from the reality of her loss.

We loss mothers need to encourage one another, be supportive of one another, and be respectful of one another.

If you are a loss mother, and are pregnant with a subsequent pregnancy, please know that your feelings and experiences through this pregnancy are valuable.  Share with us here, what you are going through and what you have gone through.  Share your birth story of your subsequent “rainbow” baby here.  We’d love to add it to the “Getting Pregnant Again” section, to provide inspiration to others and to remind all of us that mothers of subsequent pregnancies are in fact still loss moms too.

For more information on mothers of subsequent “rainbow” pregnancies, please visit our article on “Getting Pregnant Again“.

A Giveaway!

My baby is not really my personal guardian angel.  I know that images of cherubim are cute and the idea can be very healing for some, but the idea that my baby has to somehow continue to work for me does not sit well in my heart.

The Bible tells me that the people of heaven are very different than the angels of heaven, and my baby most certainly is a person in heaven, rather than an angel.

Yet, even with these truths, the images of sweet naked little babies with halos are one of the only symbols that our society permits us to actually hold onto as we grieve and acknowledge the reality of our children who have died and entered Heaven.

My baby’s work is finished.

I am the one still here.

I still have a responsibility to partner with God – to let Him lead me, and to obediantly follow.

Many loss parents feel this calling.  We know that we are the only ones who will speak on behalf of our deceased children – we are the only ones who will validate their very real lives and speak of the meaning they have moved in our hearts (whether we utilize the very few symbols we are permitted to use, such as angels, or not).

We are, in short, missionaries, proclaiming the truth, proclaiming their truth, to the world.

Let us encourage one another, as missionaries not only for God, but for our children.

Below are 100 mission mottos (borrowed from Harvest Ministry).  Choose the one that best speaks to your journey in grief and your path to healing.  Leave a comment below, including the number of the motto you most align with, and why.

Stillbirthday has a sessions group, that covers an important aspect of life after loss for 3 month segments.  You can learn more about our sessions group, and find the link to join, by visiting stillbirthday’s Facebook page.  The segment we are covering in our group from the beginning of April until the end of June is on the subject of God (You can also learn a little more about God’s involvement in pregnancy and infant loss by visiting our devotionals section).  At the closing of this session, at the end of June, I will draw a random person who has left a comment below as the winner of our giveaway, which is a VERY special package generously provided by Sufficient Grace Ministries (please enter a valid email address, and look for the winner to be announced at our Facebook page on July 1).

The Comfort Bear and Dreams of You Book will be treasured by the giveaway winner.

Sufficient Grace Ministries for Women (and families) is a 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization founded in 2004 by Kelly Gerken to offer bereavement products and support to families who have lost a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. SGM also offers hospital education, seminars, speaking, and music outreaches…as well as encouragement on their blog and quarterly newsletter offering biblically based articles relevant to today’s women and families.  Their mission is to offer the same comfort and hope that they received from the Lord as their family walked through the grief they experienced after losing their three children.  Also find Sufficient Grace Ministries on Facebook.

100 Mission Mottos

1. A man may die leaving upwards of a million, without taking any of it upwards. – William Fetler

2. A nation will not be moved by timid methods. – Luis Palau

3. Anywhere provided it be forward. – David Livingstone

4. As long as there are millions destitute of the Word of God and knowledge of Jesus Christ, it will be impossible for me to devote time and energy to those who have both. – J. L. Ewen

5. Can’t you do just a little bit more? – J.G. Morrison (pleading with Nazarenes in the 1930′s Great Depression to support their missionaries)

6. Christ alone can save the world, but Christ cannot save the world alone. – David Livingstone

7. Christ not only died for all: He died for each. – Billy Graham

8. Expect great things from God; attempt great things for God. – William Carey

9. Go straight for souls, and go for the worst. – William Booth

10. Go, send, or disobey. – John Piper

11. God had an only Son and He made Him a missionary. – David Livingstone

12. God isn’t looking for people of great faith, but for individuals ready to follow Him. – Hudson Taylor

13. God uses men who are weak and feeble enough to lean on him. – Hudson Taylor

14. God’s work done in God’s way will never lack God’s supply. – Hudson Taylor

15. He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose. – Jim Elliot

16. I am destined to proclaim the message, unmindful of personal consequences to myself. – Count Nicolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf

17. I believe that in each generation God has called enough men and women to evangelize all the yet unreached tribes of the earth. It is not God who does not call. It is man who will not respond! – Isobel Kuhn, missionary to China and Thailand

18. If God wills the evangelization of the world, and you refuse to support missions, then you are opposed to the will of God. – Oswald J. Smith

19. HUDSON TAYLOR – THE PROGRESSION OF A MISSIONARY CALL:

As child, at age 5: When I am a man, I mean to be a missionary and go to China.

As a young man: I feel I cannot go on living unless I do something for China.

Late in life, as a veteran missionary: If I had 1,000 lives, I’d give them all for China.

– Hudson Taylor, Missionary to China

20. I have but one candle of life to burn, and I would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded with light. – John Keith Falconer

21. I have but one passion: It is He, it is He alone. The world is the field and the field is the world; and henceforth that country shall be my home where I can be most used in winning souls for Christ. – Count Nicolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf

22. I have seen the vision and for self I cannot live; Life is less than worthless till my all I give. – Oswald J. Smith

23. It is easier to be an excessive fanatic than to be consistently faithful, because God causes an amazing humbling of our religious conceit when we are faithful to Him. – Oswald Chambers

24. I pray, and I obey. – David Yonggi Cho

25. I want to be where there are out and out pagans. – Francis Xavier

26. I would rather die for Christ than rule the whole earth. – Ignatius

27. If a commission by an earthly king is considered an honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice? – David Livingstone

28. If God’s love is for anybody anywhere, it’s for everybody everywhere. – Edward Lawlor, Nazarene General Superintendent

29. If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for Him. – C.T. Studd

30. If missions languish, it is because the whole life of godliness is feeble. The command to go everywhere and preach to everybody is not obeyed until the will is lost by self-surrender in the will of God. Living, praying, giving and going will always be found together. – Arthur T. Pierson

31. If ten men are carrying a log — nine of them on the little end and one at the heavy end — and you want to help, which end will you lift on? – William Borden

32. If the Church is ‘in Christ,’ she is involved in mission. Her whole existence then has a missionary character. Her conduct as well as her words will convince the unbelievers and put their ignorance and stupidity to silence. – David Bosch

33. If the Great Commission is true, our plans are not too big; they are too small. – Pat Morley

34. If we have not enough in our religion . . . to share it with all the world, it is doomed here at home. – David Livingstone

35. If you don’t have a definite call to stay here, you are called to go. – Keith Green

36. If you found a cure for cancer, wouldn’t it be inconceivable to hide it from the rest of mankind? How much more inconceivable to keep silent the cure from the eternal wages of death. – Dave Davidson

37. If you take missions out of the Bible, you won’t have anything left but the covers. – Nina Gunter

38. In no other way can the believer become as fully involved with God’s work, especially the work of world evangelism, as in intercessory prayer. – Dick Eastman

39. In our lifetime, wouldn’t it be sad if we spent more time washing dishes or swatting flies or mowing the yard or watching television than praying for world missions? – Dave Davidson

40. In the vast plain to the north I have sometimes seen, in the morning sun, the smoke of a thousand villages where no missionary has ever been. – Robert Moffat

41. It is possible for the most obscure person in a church, with a heart right toward God, to exercise as much power for the evangelization of the world, as it is for those who stand in the most prominent positions. – John R. Mott

42. It’s better to obey God rather than men. – Brother Andrew

43. Let my heart be broken with the things that break God’s heart. – Bob Pierce, World Vision founder

44. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing! – Helen Keller (she wasn’t a missionary, but this is an inspiring mission-minded thought!)

45. Life is precarious, and life is precious. Don’t presume you will have it tomorrow, and don’t waste it today. – John Piper

46. Live God LOUD! – Ron Luce, TeenMania

47. Lost people matter to God, and so they must matter to us. – Keith Wright

48. Missionary zeal does not grow out of intellectual beliefs, nor out of theological arguments, but out of love. – Roland Allen

49. Missions is not just for missionaries; God’s call is for all. – Ann Dunagan, The Mission-Minded Family

50. Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn’t. – John Piper

51. Missions is practicing God’s presence until His passion compels us to obey. – Ann Dunagan, The Mission-Minded Family

52. Missions is the overflow of our delight in God because missions is the overflow of God’s delight in being God. – John Piper

53. Never pity missionaries; envy them. They are where the real action is — where life and death, sin and grace, Heaven and Hell converge. – Robert C. Shannon

54. No reserves. No retreats. No regrets. – William Borden

55. Not, how much of my money will I give to God, but, how much of God’s money will I keep for myself? – John Wesley

56. Oh, that I could spend every moment of my life to God’s glory! – David Brainerd

57. Oh, that I had a thousand lives and a thousand bodies! All of them should be devoted to no other employment but to preach Christ to these degraded, despised, yet beloved mortals. – Robert Moffat

58. One Way: Jesus! One Job: Evangelism! – T.L. Osborn

59. Only as the church fulfills her missionary obligation does she justify her existence. – Unknown

60. Our God of Grace often gives us a second chance, but there is no second chance to harvest a ripe crop. – Kurt von Schleicher

61. Some wish to live within the sound of church and chapel bell. I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell! – C.T. Studd

62. Someone asked, Will the heathen who have never heard the Gospel be saved? It is more a question with me whether we — who have the Gospel and fail to give it to those who have not — can be saved. – Charles Spurgeon

63. Tell the students to give up their small ambitions and come eastward to preach the gospel of Christ. – Francis Xavier

64. The best remedy for a sick church is to put it on a missionary diet. – David Livingstone

65. This generation can only reach this generation. – David Livingstone

66. Sympathy is no substitute for action. – David Livingstone

67. The Bible is not the basis of missions; missions is the basis of the Bible. – Ralph Winter, U.S. Center for World Mission

68. The Christian is not obedient unless he is doing all in his power to send the Gospel to the heathen world. – A. B. Simpson

69. The Church must send or the church will end. – Mendell Taylor

70. The church that does not evangelize will fossilize. – Oswald J. Smith

71. The mission of the church is missions.– Oswald J. Smith

72. (Related to the previous quote.) God’s mission for the family is expanding God’s family.– Ann Dunagan, The Mission-Minded Family

73. We talk of the Second Coming; half the world has never heard of the first. – Oswald J. Smith

74. The church which ceases to be evangelistic will soon cease to be evangelical. – Alexander Duff

75. The gospel is only good news if it gets there in time. – Carl F. H. Henry

76. The Great Commission is not an option to be considered; it is a command to be obeyed. – Hudson Taylor

77. The Great Commission is the Great Adventure of Christianity. – Ron Luce, TeenMania

78. The history of missions is the history of answered prayer. – Samuel Zwemer

79. The light that shines farthest shines brightest nearest home. – C. T. Studd

80. The mark of a great church is not its seating capacity, but its sending capacity. – Mike Stachura

81. There is nothing in the world or the Church – except the church’s disobedience – to render the evangelization of the world in this generation an impossibility. – Robert Speer

82. The spirit of Christ is the spirit of missions. The nearer we get to Him, the more intensely missionary we become. – Henry Martyn, missionary to India and Persia

83. The supreme task of the Church is the evangelization of the world. – Oswald J. Smith

84. The will of God — nothing less, nothing more, nothing else. – F. E. Marsh (also attributed to Bobby Richardson)

85. To know God and to make Him known. – Loren Cunningham, YWAM

86. To know the will of God, we need an open Bible and an open map. – William Carey, pioneer missionary to India

87. Untold millions are still untold. – John Wesley

88. Walk away from your own preoccupations . . . and see the perishing multitudes. – K.P. Yohannan, Gospel for Asia

89. We are debtors to every man to give him the gospel in the same measure in which we have received it. – P.F. Bresee, founder of the Church of the Nazarene

90. We can reach our world, if we will. The greatest lack today is not people or funds. The greatest need is prayer. – Wesley Duewel, head of OMS International

91. We must be global Christians with a global vision because our God is a global God. – John Stott

92. What can we do to win these men to Christ? – Richard Wurmbrand, The Voice of the Martyrs (referring to the men who were persecuting him)

93. Why should anyone hear the Gospel twice, before everyone has heard it once? -Oswald J. Smith

94. Will you go to His feet and place yourself entirely at His disposal? – William Booth

95. Will you shed your tears for the souls of the nations? – Wendi Stranz, Pastor’s wife

96. World missions was on God’s mind from the beginning. – Dave Davidson

97. You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving. – Amy Carmichael

98. You can’t take it with you, but you can send it on ahead. – Oswald J. Smith

99. You must go or send a substitute. – Oswald J. Smith

100. You have one business on earth – to save souls. – John Wesley

This giveaway is now closed.  The winner is YLMBreadless!  Congratulations and thank you everyone for participating!  Please use the feedback form or comment below (it won’t be published) with your address, so I can ship these lovely items to you!

Review and Giveaway!

As parents, we are the most important people – and likely the only people – to actually speak to the reality of our lost babies – our deceased children.

How do you remember?

In what special ways do you validate the life of your baby(ies)?

Answer in the comments below for a chance to win!

Misty, from Written for Your Wall, is offering a giveaway opportunity of one of her beautiful wooden “baby boards” with custom printing on it, to one bereaved parent who leaves a comment below, stating how you remember your baby(ies).

Misty started making these sweet “baby boards” to remember her son, Isaac, who was born and who died on April 8, 2009 to anencephaly.  As she says, simply seeing his name within her home has been very soothing and validating to her.  It is healing.

She remembers her son Isaac, every day.  Every day she remembers she is his mother, that he is not here, and that he is in Heaven.

Seeing his name within her home, every day, honors this truth.

When I contacted Misty about my own baby board for my miscarried baby, I told her what his name is and that I was immediately led to 1 Samuel 1:11 when I found out that he had died.  With only that information, she put together the most amazing and beautiful board to honor and validate my son – and now I have his name in our home too, to see and to remember, every day.

I miss him, and while I do miss out on many things with him, I know that I didn’t miss out on him.  He is very much a reality – one who I only shared a moment with in this life, but who I spend the rest of my life waiting to see again in the next.

For Misty, it has been extremely important to validate that her son is very much alive – every single day – in Heaven.  He didn’t just disappear, float into nothingness, or undo his existance.

Misty says, “Isaac is REAL and he lives. He is a part of our family forever and his place in our lives is secure. We remember and honor him because we know he exists and that we will be together, as a whole family, again one day!!”

Our children, mine and hers,  are real.  They are alive in Heaven.  Every day.

In honor of the third stillbirthday of Misty’s son Isaac, and in honor of the first stillbirthday of my miscarried baby, both welcomed into our arms – and into Heaven – in April,  together Misty and I are presenting a special gift to another loss parent who participates in this giveaway.

These boards are specially priced for bereaved parents at only $13.50, which includes shipping and handling.  Please visit her site to learn more about customizing your special keepsake.

But now, this is what the LORD says—  he who created you, he who formed you: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  ~Isaiah 43:1

 With Baby Loss Mother’s day fast approaching (May 6), Mother’s day right behind it (May 11), and Father’s day just after that (June 17), now is certainly the time to consider adding one of these beautiful baby boards to your home.  That’s right – if you’ve been looking for the perfect gift for your man, to validate his fatherhood role and give him something meaningful – a baby board would be a perfect gift.  They are strong, durable, simple and so very beautiful.  A baby board is something both of you will treasure having in your home for many years to come.

This giveaway will run throughout the month of April.  A random person from the comments below will then be selected as the winnner, with details on how to contact Misty to obtain your beautiful baby board, with your baby’s name and a special message that you customize.  The winner will be announced at our Facebook page on May 1.

Let us all learn how others remember their babies, to be encouraged with ideas, as you enter to win a special item for your home!

How do you remember?  Do you remember every day?

~~~~~

This giveaway is now closed.  The winner is Syds.Kid!